I am my own laboratory. My relationships are my lab rats( said with affection). If you see yourself in this article, know that Chiron relationships just seem to blow up. Neither person is the good guy. Neither person is the bad guy. I think I found some insights on why they blow. Look at all your relationships which get close very quickly and have a very deep intimacy. If there is a strong Chiron in synastry, most likely, they will not last.
First of all, let me define a Chiron relationship. One person’s Chiron must conjunct a PERSONAL planet or angle in the other person’s charts. Chiron may conjunct asteroids, too.In these cases, it would be the bad asteroids. By bad, I mean asteroids like Sedna( severe betrayal by men), Medusa( destruction by women), Dejanira( the victim) and Nessus( the abuser) I use the conjunction because it is the strongest aspect. In my research, I do not look at other aspects with Chiron. It is not because they do not count, just that the conjunction trumps all other aspects in intensity.
So, the Chiron relationship could be all manner of aspects. It could be Sun/Chiron, Moon/Chiron, Mercury/Chiron/ Mars/Chiron, Saturn/Chiron,Venus/Chiron, Ascendent/Chiron. MC/Chiron, IC/Chiron, DSC/Chiron or various asteroids conjunct Chiron. The conjunction must be close. It must be 2-3 degrees, tops, in my experience.
Now that we have defined a Chiron relationship, let me share about some of mine, how they started, progressed and failed. One of my most recent ones was with a woman. It got close fast. It felt the way best friends feel, warm and safe. It started going bad when I had a very different philosophy on life. She did not agree. I stood firm. It got tense. She acted poorly to me. I stood up. However, in this case, we had an unusual outcome in that we were able to make a peace, not a friendship, but a peace. Once Chiron relationships break, they never go back to what they were. That is another defining trait.
However, when I looked more closely, I saw that she was reacting from pain of a mother whom she saw as rigid in the same belief system I had. *I* was reacting from not being allowed to have a voice as a child. She was saying”Don’t be rigid like my mother”. I was saying, “I WILL have my voice and you are not going to stop me” Hence, the core pain of each person played out. This is another trait of the Chiron relationship i.e the core pain will play out. Again, no one is the good one and no one is the bad one.
I will describe another recent Chiron relationship. This was Saturn/Chiron. I was the Saturn. This relationship got close very quickly. I felt as if we would be best friends forever. He did, too. I helped him when he was in a lot of pain. He came to some profound spiritual insights. It was very exhausting for me as I gave a great deal of my primal energy. However, I was very happy.
The problem arose when he said that maybe he did NOT believe what he had accepted. I said that was fine but I did not want to hear about it. He said that he could say what he wanted. I said that I had a boundary and did not want to discuss this ONE point. He said that he did not want to talk to me anymore.
Again, no one is right and no one is wrong. It is a situation where pain comes out and controls the outcome. His pain was that he could not say what he wanted. My pain was that I had a mother who I kept trying to show various truths.. She would seem to see it and then after all my efforts would act like she saw nothing.
Please, don’t get lost in the details of this, look at the larger point of pain intersecting. I give the details, just to make it clearer about how pain intersects.
If I go back to my Venus/Chiron relationship that failed, I have some new insights. I was the Venus. She was the Chiron. I am not sure who comes to whom for healing, the planet person or the Chiron person. The planet person may be the one who learns the lessons more. At any rate, in this relationship, we got close fast. We felt like we were best friends. We shared all sorts of intimate details, some we never shared with others. I thought she dissed me but in retrospect, she didn’t. She needed space. She thought I violated her space but I did not.
She has Chiron in the 12th. She has hidden pain. I was bringing up her hidden pain. I don’t think she knew what exactly was happening. The person with Chiron in the 12th cannot put his finger on his pain as can the people with Chiron in the other houses. Hence, I brought out something in her and she exploded. The funny thing was that the incident was very, very small. This is classic for Chiron blow ups, too.
I hope you have learned something of value from this article. Please, share your experiences, Friends!
Ronnie Valentine, a wonderful Astrologer said these kind words to me. I put them up here with gratitude and humility( and because I need a little TLC 😀 )
Chiron brings madness to earth in a tantalizing way. I like how you translate it to relationships…You carry on tantalizing us all!