Christian Psychic Readings & Astrology Charts for All Faiths

FICTION: My Panther Noire (Part Two)

The Panther went away to better pastures and better pastures and better pastures, forever thus. He is probably an archetype of the man you loved but could never have. Maybe, if you had him, he would become some weird chemical that is solid rock but when you touch it, it becomes liquid.

He is a panther, so he was made to run free. No matter how alluring I was, the shine would tarnish with time. A shinier thing would come along. It would be forever thus. The Panther is like a baby who drops one bauble to pick up another. Around him are all the baubles like discarded Christmas balls.

However, he will remain with me like the people who freeze themselves to come back to life in the age of super technology. Maybe, I will see the Panther in Heaven. Maybe, I won’t care by then, probably the weird face

I am still noire. It does not go away on a dime. It peeks out it’s head because it does not like to be squished.

I put on pumps, a twinset and pearls. I put my hair in a French Twist with a tendril or two escaping. I put the noire away until the time that someone calls it out again, or it just dies.






44 thoughts on “FICTION: My Panther Noire (Part Two)

  1. amianncatman90

    Omg please tell me that i have put 2+2 together and got 5.Please tell me you didn’t get some inspiration for that character from me. Im sorry if I have gotten the wrong end of the stick.Although I would like to point out I don’t just leave people in the dust.Its quite funny a lot of the time I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.I sometimes feel like most people don’t know me at all that well even family and friends that have know me for years.Would it surprise you if I told you that sometimes I feel like that bauble that everybody discards once something bigger and newer and shiner has come along.Believe it or not a lot of the time I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and die.I guess my Jupiter conjunct Sun and Amor isn’t all its cracked up to be.I guess I feel like im always at the wrong place at the wrong time.I feel like im the perfect scapegoat,the screw up,the Unholy Heretic/Harlot/Devil Spawn, the natural disaster on two legs that keeps everybody well entertained and makes them feel good about themselves and makes them feel glad that they are not me.Believe me I really do know that all that glitters is not gold.Hell sometimes I wish I was so shallow and ignorant that like most people on this earth I could think oh it looks good it must be good.Unfortunately I am well aware that I could have the entire world on a platter ,I could be the best looking,I could be the best at everything and know one on this earth could compare to me,I could be I could snap my finger and have anything that I wanted and even If I could have all that it still wouldn’t make me happy.A lot of the time I wonder why God put my on this stupid planet.I feel like I don’t belong and it seems here nothing I do really matters.I could an absolute saint and and save the world and it wouldn’t matter I could become the worst sinner on earth and destroy the world and it wouldn’t matter.I hate how most people are totally unaware of how they really make me feel when it seems like most people today behave like a flock of cold,indifferent vultures that just want to pick my carcass clean.Although at least vultures have the decency to wait until you have died to start the feast.I feel sometimes people must know that they are are driving me closer to the edge.They must be able to read my face and know that my world is falling apart and yet they still continue.They must know they have pretty got me where they want me .It feels like the rest of the world has taken my dignity and my sanity what more do they want blood,tears or a full scale meltdown.The funny thing is they drove me to this but they have the nerve to wonder why I get mean,upset and behave like a lunatic instead of just sitting there and letting them treat like me crap.If they want a Heretic/Harlort/Lunatic/Devil i’ll give them one.

    I would like to apologise to You Ami and the rest of the readers for this outburst.I would like to point that out that that rant wasn’t aimed at Ami or other members of this this site .The rant was pretty much just about how im feeling about the world in general at the moment and the way it perceives me.On a final note I will say Congratulations Ami for writing this very deep thought provoking article.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      CM dear
      I just read your first line. It was not you. I will read the rest. You can say anything here. Don’t feel weird if you had an outburst! I have outbursts all the time <3

      You made me cry CM that I could touch you like this. I just watched this little video of a dog who was rescued and I know just how he feels--dirty and alone. I bet you do, too. I went to find it and I can't. I will put it up if I can.

      You are not alone, CM. I think more people will share because you openly yourself up, so bravely.

      I took out a detailed description of my mother molesting me. I felt sick to my stomach that I put it there and so I took it out so I could go to sleep. I may put it back. I wrote this for a reason and part of the reason was that other people were going to be able to share things they couldn't.

      I am so glad you shared, CM. You are totally safe here!

  2. amianncatman90

    It really was a great article Ami.I think i know what you mean Ami.My mind just seems to be working against me at the moment thats why i’ve been so so volatile lately.Its like im seeing doom and gloom everywhere and its like most things are starting to feel like they have some hidden meaning.I bet that dog is really cute.

  3. amianncatman90

    It is amazing how accurate astrology really is.If you you think about it I have a loaded 3rd house and Neptune resides there so I have a tendancy to think in symbolic terms so it really does make sense.Also the panther roaming all over the place leaving everyone else behind also made me think of my loaded 9th house ,my detached 11th house Virgo Moon and my communication problems.I guess transit Pluto conjuncting my Uranus and Neptune in the 3rd, Transit Mars conjunct Moon in the 11th and Transit Jupiter and Black Moon Lilith conjunct my Chiron in the 9th also help make sense of things.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I can’t remember your chart exactly but I think one of your hardest things is to pull back and see yourself in a detached manner. Am I right? Do you have a Sun/merc combust? If so, what is the orb?

  4. amianncatman90

    My Sun is at 3 Leo 16 and Mercury is at 25 Leo 36 so its not combust. It is hard for me to detached about myself but at the same time sometimes I feel like i’ve become detached from my self and I feel like I don’t know who I am any more.Also the the world just freaks me out sometimes its like I can sense all the negativity and its driving me crazy.I know that i need to learn to deal with it but sometimes the wild feeling takes over me before I have a chance to think.It feels primal and instictive like a wild animal backed into a corner.Sometimes I wonder if God is trying to teach some lessons by using symbolism ,imagery, hidden and doublemeanings and feelings that I can’t quite explain.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      CM I think you have so many planets squished into that 3rd house. You could put up your chart again and I would look or bump one of your old threads. I get better all the time, the more charts I do. Maybe, I can see something new.

  5. amiannLon Spector

    Dear Cat Man,
    What you are describing are the torments of the FLESH. No one is immune from them.
    Not even Christ. The Bible says that “Christ was tried and tested in ALL THINGS as we
    are, yet without sin.”
    The greatest saints of the Bible have had to deal with fleshly temtations. The Apostle
    Paul said, “I do the things that I don’t want to do. Who will save me from this body of
    flesh?” King David, a man “after God”s own heart, had a man murdered so he could
    commit adultery with the man’s wife. Read the 51st Psalm to see David’s plea for
    I too have Neptune in the 3rd house and the moon in the 11th. You have the moon in Virgo.
    Tough placement. Moon in virgo can’t relax. Having said that, the only hope you and
    anyone else has is drawing as close to Christ as possible with like minded people.

    1. amiannBiblea

      You are wrong in what you said, Lon. You know nothing about Virgo moon and how serene they feel. The moon that cannot relax is really the Gemini moon. Natives with this moon are troubled people.

      1. amiannamiann Post author

        B I think Virgo Moon is a very hard moon to have, harder than Gemini but Gemini is hard in it’s own way. Virgo is much too critical a sign to have for the tender moon, in my opinion, anyway.

          1. amiannBiblea

            Through experience, A. Sag moons tend to have a tag that says “me!” If they’re unlucky, negativity gets attracted because they have a tag on their shirt. It’s easier to defeat them than others, A. But once they gain perspective, theirs will be the hardest to penetrate.

        1. amiannBiblea

          Virgo loves the Moon and Moon loves Viergo right back. Virgo is the harvest, and Moon provides the water. They both live harmoniously. You will never know unless you understand this.

        2. amiannBiblea

          Personally, I love the virgo moon. They have great perspective and they can see through things. Gemini moons are scattered and then they think too much nonsense. Sagittarius moons find it hard to have perspective. They cannot deal with negativity and so they either absorb it within themselves or they lash out at the wrong people. Most victims I know are the Sag moons because they cannot differentiate a positive positive person and a negative postive person. they only respond to the outside. That’s how they fall, and when they fall, they could never rise because the moon does not let them see how. I think this is the “blind spot” moon. They can only gain wisdom through constant earnest enquiry with God for an opened mind and true faith. These people don’t have it any other way. They are too trusting and they cannot see the wolves when they camouflage in the trees. Bless their sacred innocent hearts.

          1. amiannamiann Post author

            Wow about Saggi Moon,B. You must have come to that by experience. I never read anything like that but experience is the best teacher, so I appreciate your insights!

  6. amiannLon Spector

    About the Virgo Moon: I read a book by Anthony Novel titled “My World Of
    Astrology.” He says that the Virgo Moon is unable to relax, and ridiclues those
    who can relax. My father entirely. Laziness was the cause of ALL human ills. And
    EVERYBODY was lazy but him, of course. He simpily couldn’t be without activity.
    Aside from hyper critisim, another trait he had was keeping busy to distract himself
    from just how misreable in his marriage with my Moon in Cancer mother who’s traits
    made him misreable. Moon in Virgo often makes mistakes in whom they marry so
    that’s another reason to keep busy.

  7. amianncatman90

    Thanks for the the thumbs on the Virgo Moon Biblea.

    I think Virgo Moons are Neurotic and highly strung though.Even when Im not doing anything at home I have to be moving around.I find it hard to sit still.I’ll probably be listening to my ipod while walking around my room while at the same time I will talking to multiple people on various threads on forums that I am part of.

    Ami that video was really heartbreaking.I hate rotten people who could do that to poor animals like miley.

  8. amiannLon Spector

    Well, the Cancer Moon is hypersensative, except for Casey Anthony of course.
    Casey Anthony is living proof that you can’t judge a person on the basis of one
    placement alone. The ENTIRE chart has to be taken into consideration.
    If you examine Casey Anthony’s chart, you’ll see that ALL the other placements negate and
    nullify the Moon in Cancer. Also, you’ll see that NONE of her “friends” lasted very long
    because of the Moon in 11th house. With the Venus in Aries placement, none of her
    “boyfriends” lasted very long either. But she does have Venus in the 9th, and in all likelyhood
    is plotting her “escape” with a foreign man that she is coresponding with NOW.
    She knows her future is overseas, where she can do her best to merge in.
    With Jupiter in the 7th house of marriage ironically, she is liable to have a long and happy
    marriage. Uranus in the 5th likely means a bi-racial child.

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