Christian Psychic Readings & Astrology Charts for All Faiths

How To Be Proud of Yourself?

You should know by now that I write about my personal struggles. I have cancer Moon conjunct the MC, exact. This means that I will tell you about my life and my feelings. I open myself up because I seem to help others do the same. I heal as I help others heal. It goes around in a beautiful circle. That is why I do articles like this.

I have started to see that I could never shine for fear my mother would hurt me. I could make myself small. I could make myself of little value but I could not shine with the joy of feeling proud of oneself. I became afraid to shine at all. I felt that it was not safe. It could get me hurt and I did not want to be hurt anymore. I could not take it, to tell you the truth. Any more hurt and I felt I would lose my mind. Trying to keep myself sane has been my life pursuit since I was a child.

I held onto it like the most precious diamond. I have a good chart with a lot of logic and reason. I have a Gemini stellium in the 9th house–Gemini Sun, Mercury and Venus. I have cancer Moon there conjunct the MC, as I said. I think God gives people their charts. God knows the reasons we suffer. We see through a glass darkly while we are on the earth. However, I believe each person’s chart was chosen by God. If not, how could they be so accurate?

I don’t want to get off on that but want to get back to the subject.

I made myself get very small so no one would hurt me. I made myself go to the middle so I would not get jealousy or envy from anyone. I have been replaying the same drama of my childhood, again and again, as if I was in a crazy loop, a rubric cube into which one goes and cannot come out.

I saw this the other day. It hit me that I was doing the same neurotic action to try to stave off humiliation and hurt.

It seems strange to stand tall. I wonder if I will stand too tall and be obnoxious. I am afraid I will like the woman who takes assertiveness training and then says, “PLEASE, PASS THE SALT”

5 thoughts on “How To Be Proud of Yourself?

  1. amianntmo

    hi i have a question not so pertaining to this but about mars. i have mars in virgo , in the 5th house (leo) and leo in the 5th house aswell as pholus. would this give me a mixture of mars in leo in your opinion?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Friend
      We would need to see how close Pholus was before we counted it for anything. I don’t go higher than a 2 degree conjunction. I can do 3 degrees but it is the outermost and it is weakened. As far as a Virgo Mars in the 5th house. Yes, you would have a Leo feel to how you went after goals and a Leo feel to you, in general, as Mars is an important personal planet.

  2. amiannRobin

    Thank you Ami. Cancer moon here (4th house) have spent my life making myself smaller, not bright, afraid to attract envy, etc. etc. everything you wrote about. And feeling crazy thinking about it all ways.

    Thanks for the article. I don’t think my chart is long on logic, though. All my planets are SW quadrant except my moon and a sixth house Uranus. Oh – and a 12th house Chiron in Aquarius. Interesting my mother Scorp/Cancer moon and sister Scorp ASC/Cancer moon, myself Scorp/Cancer moon.

    I am enjoying reading your site. Appreciate your writing.


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