When I write anything, you can know that I experienced it. I talk from my heart and my soul. Why else would I expect you to listen? With that in mind, I have some new understanding of what it means to be a victim and what it means to overcome.
There seems no end to the people who want to pull your chain. I suppose this is the result of the fallen world. In Heaven, it will stop but not until. Hence, one needs to learn ways to deal with it. These ways can take you from a victim to a victor.
I think the first thing is to learn to act, not react. Many people have all sorts of agendas that have nothing to do with you. However, they would love to pull you into their whirlpool. You can decide into which whirlpools you will jump. This is a revelation and took me four years to discover.
I discovered it by repeatedly jumping into places I should not. I learn by failing. I learn by touching the stove. I don’t know about you but I seem to need to experience failures in order to learn most things.Through a wise mentor, I came to realize that I had the power not to react.
Secondly, don’t let yourself be controlled by the agendas of others. Set the agenda. You cannot control others but you can control how you will react . If you feel you are being swept away by a situation, pull back and establish your grounding. The hardest thing for me to understand was the level of hidden agendas in human interaction. I knew this as a child but lost it as I grew up. One must feel out what is happening under the surface and factor that into one’s reaction. Know one thing. Your feelings are more reliable than someone’s words to you. This took me many years to re-learn, too. I knew it as a child, as well. Talk is cheap is what I am saying.
The biggest factor from going from a victim to a victor is realizing that you have value. One must feel this down deep. Again, intellectual knowledge won’t take you far. It may take you a bit of the way but a true value for yourself will help to put things in perspective in a way that little else will.
How does one get this if one does not have it? God is the only way. When one realizes God’s love for oneself, one can start to feel it, too. However, it is a very slow process for those of us who were abused. I wish I could say that it happens fast. I wish it would but I have to be honest and say that changing one’s old ideas about oneself seems to take time. However, God is in the business of miracles, so why not become one? <3