I have gotten wonderful feedback on the first article, so I am writing a second. In fact, after I wrote the first, I started having more personal revelations on how to deal depression. I am excited to share them with you. Many people, like I, have had depression since their childhood or teens. In many cases, as in mine, it was the result of abuse. This is through no fault of the native but it may consign him to a lifetime of seeming interminable sadness. I am almost on my way out of depression. My sharing the mechanisms of how this has transpired is the subject of this article.
My personal goal since I started my website( and since the death of my son) is to have my voice. By my voice, I mean an authentic expression of my true self. I have reached the other life goals such as career, and financial success, which consume the time and energy of people in modern societies. However, the sense that there was an authentic self residing in my own soul eluded me. This past year, all my earthly dreams came true. When I still felt the same depression, numbness and alienation from myself, I endeavored to try harder to find out why and more specifically HOW I could change.
I wanted to have a sense of self that was strong and that I could count on to guide me and comfort me in this, often, harsh and cruel world.I think that is the goal for many people. The manner in which I found this is the subject of this article. I think I have found my sense of self, which is a guiding light out of the morass and depths of depression. I do not say this lightly because it is a very serious subject. Too many people dismiss depression as a choice made by the native. Too many people throw platitudes at the subject of depression, in the manner of a supposed artist throwing paint on a wall. I respect depression. Some people die from it. Some live in unremittingly painful prisons due to it. It is no trivial matter.
Let’s get down to basics. First of all, one needs a true best friend in order to get over depression. By true best friend, I mean someone to whom you can show your shame. Under depression is shame. In fact, if shame could magically be eradicated, I think depression would disappear as in a magic trick. However, shame is one of the most deeply held traits. This is due to the fact that shame endeavored the native not to die from his abuse. Shame turned the anger on himself and not the abusers. Hence, the upshot becomes an anger toward himself and not the abuser(s)
This one trait, shame, is the hardest to uproot. It is the lynchpin of them all. Once we uproot it, depression has no home. It will flee because it will have no means of making inroads. It will be like trying to stop oneself from sliding down a slide covered with grease. How one makes oneself an inhospitable environment for shame is part of this article, too.
Back to my first point, the native must have one person to whom he can show his shame. Pray for God to send you that person because this process is not a solo endeavor. One must have a human buddy to walk by one’s side. Love is the true healer for anything and shame is no different. One has to show one’s flawed face to see that one is simply human not “bad”. Shame forces one to hide. Depression comes from hiding Shame forces one to put on a mask of perfection. Depression comes from the mask of depression. Shame forces one to feel isolated, even in the proverbial crowd. Depression comes from isolation. Hence, one can see the causal nature of shame in the dis-ease of depression. The word dis-ease is used in natural health to reflect an imbalance in the native, not a typical “disease”, as used in modern psychiatric terms. The native with depression has a dis-ease, not a disease, in the opinion of Chinese Medicine. Words mean things. A disease seems much more daunting than a dis-ease.
I have discussed shame. The native with depression must seek steps to reduce his shame in order for depression to leave. Related to this is the repression of the “bad” emotions from childhood. These are typically selfishness, anger, sexual feelings, jealousy, envy and other primal emotions which are not acceptable in “polite” society. In order to eradicate depression, one must re-learn the mechanism of FEELING these emotions. The depressed person will, typically, feel numb. He will, typically, feel like the color grey. He will, typically, not have the normal highs and lows of the non depressed person. He will live at a hum like ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hence, for depression to be healed, one must find a means of connecting with these primal emotions which truly are lost to the native through the process of repression.
One means is through crying. Crying removes the layers of defenses which the abused child must erect in order to survive, literally. It is a literal manner to avoid death.Children can die from heart break. A depressed child has managed to stay alive. He is depressed because it is his defense mechanisms, given by God, which have formed to enable him to live. That is what depression is. It is not a disease, as Modern Medicine likes to term it, in my opinion.
I think I am going to need a Part Three or this will become a tome. However, I will try to finish in a logical way and then begin a Part Three. To review, we have seen how shame is the uniting puzzle piece for depression. If shame is unearthed, depression will leave. I am a gardener, I have to pull out weeds by the roots or they re-grow. In the same manner, shame is one of the major roots for depression and it must be unearthed, mercilessly, for depression to be eradicated. I will end this article here and I will go onto a Part Three.