Christian Psychic Readings & Astrology Charts for All Faiths

WHY Do Nessus and Dejaneria Relationships Feel Like They Will Kill Us?

I am someone people come to with obsessive relationships and ask why. Logically speaking, if one is an adult and feels one will die if a lover leaves, there must be something more than meets the eye. The Nessus/Dejaneria relationship has this feeling. When the person snubs you, you feel as if the floor will open up and swallow you. I have seen enough people go through the same thing to begin to formulate some ideas.

I think that both people have to have had some childhood abuse. In each natal chart, you will find asteroids for pain, betrayal and abuse, prominent. In synastry( the chart which compares one person’s natal chart with another), the Nessus and Dejaneria will connect, strongly. The current relationship will bring up the horribly painful childhood abuse . The person feels as if he is re-living it. The pain will be horrendous,unspeakable. I believe that the current Nessus/ Dejaneria relationship is like an instant replay, in football, of the repressed emotions from childhood. That is why it is so intense, and so unexplainable, at the same time. Please, comment on anything I write. I welcome your comments.

42 thoughts on “WHY Do Nessus and Dejaneria Relationships Feel Like They Will Kill Us?

  1. amiannlilithpluto

    He has his Hekate conjunct my Dejan in synastry and his Dejan conjunct my lust in synastry… I hated him for causing me the pain and agony when he left. I hope he has as much emotional intensity as I did about him to feel pain when I eventually cut off all ties..

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      His Hekate conjunct your Deja. Did this bring all your “victim energy” to the surface. Yes, that must have hurt, badly! His Deja conjunct your Lust. Hmmm, were you attracted to the neediness in him?

  2. amiannmiss concerned

    Hi Ami!!! 🙂
    I want to ask you something from your experience:
    My Nessus conjunct his Sun and his Apollo exactly( 0 orb and less than 1 orb)
    What may it mean?I am dangerous for him or he is dangerous for me?
    Who will obssesed with whom: I am with him or he is with me?
    The guy has mars square pluto natally and lilith conjunct uranus natally.
    And I feel his strength energetically.He is excited when he sees me.
    What do you think about the future of such a relationship?
    May such conjunction to be like venus-pluto conjunction ?
    Is he dangerous for me,can he harm me?May I trust him?
    Thank you a lot for your answers that you always give me!!!

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I would really need to do your charts to answer. I would need to do a synastry with asteroids. Just generally, The Nessus wants to abuse the planet person. The planet person wants to fall under the Nessus’ person’s spell as the planet person seems to be like prey caught in the stare of the predator. It is very sexy, to be frank. It is very,very primal and dark. Picture a sexy vampire. That would be Nessus lol
      Mars sq Pluto natally may make him abusive.Is he? To answer your questions about trust etc, I would need to do your charts! xx

  3. amiannmiss concerned

    Ami, I read what you wrote in the forum about the nessus -sun conjunction that you were the sun.
    You also wrote that were a moon-pluto aspects and venus pluto aspects in this synastry.
    These aspects can bring an obsession too.Were you the pluto person or the venus-moon person?
    It were hard aspects?
    How can you distinguish between all these aspects and say that Nessus-Sun brings an obsession?
    Did you see synastries that had only Nessus aspects without pluto aspects and there was an obsession there?
    I ask this,because I experienced venus-pluto aspect( I were the pluto and were obsessed).It was wonderful wow and so hard…..

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Miss Concerned. Well, I had many DW’s (Double Whammies) This is when an aspect goes BOTH ways. I had Venus/Pluto DW, Moon/Pluto DW, and Nessus/Deja DW. So, I was each side of the aspect. However, for purposes of explaining, in a Sun/Nessus conjunction, the Nessus person wants to abuse the Sun person. With Pluto/Venus, the Pluto wants to control and the Venus wants to be controlled because it feels so affirming to have Pluto showering you with primal passion and primal desire.The Venus feels beautiful(or handsome) and very desirable. It is kind of an intoxicating feeling for the Venus. For the Pluto, it is more of an obsessed feeling.

  4. amiannmiss concerned

    Ami, thank you a lot! 🙂
    I think that it is meaningless to do a chart now,because we even don t speak,only look one on another.You sooooo right about the venus-pluto!And yes he is attractive,but I have venus conjunct Apollo too 🙂
    I don t know if he is abusive, he looks like the scorpio,although the only things that he has in scorpio it is lilith conjunct uranus at scorpio and mars (cancer) square pluto (libra)-3 orbs.
    I don’ t know if he may be abusive towards me if I have Nessus conjunct his Sun.
    In the synastry I don’ t like these aspects:
    His pluto opposite my sun (3 orbs)
    His saturn and jupiter (libra-they conjuct in his natal) square my moon(cancer-4 orbs),my mars (capricorn-2orbs) and my neptun (capricorn-1 orb)
    And our lunar nodes exactly square one another (I know that it can bring bad luck to the life and career)
    The good things are that his juno conjunct my south node and his venus opposite my mercury and his neptun conjunct my uranus.Also his venus is in virgo and my natal ascenndant is virgo (not conjunction).And his eros conjunct my pholus (1 orb), oppossite my pluto(less than 2 orbs) and square my eros (1 orb).
    I am very concerned about his natal aspect mars square pluto and the synastry aspect his saturn square my mars and his saturn square my moon.I feel such an aspect with my relative his saturn opposite my moon and there is always pressure and he always tell me what to do,but maybe it is also because my relative’s pluto is on my ascendant.But I have never experienced mars square saturn 🙂
    Ami, what do you think with such aspects will he dare to be abusive towards me if I have Nessus conjunct his Sun? Will the Nessus protect me or on the contrary it will make him angry?:)
    Thank you a lot for your answers!!!

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Would he dare to abuse you if your Nessus conj his Sun? You could not answer that question based on that one aspect lol The chart is so very many layered. Yes, Saturn square the moon feels bad. I do not like Saturn squaring my Moon or Venus as these planets are very close to one’s heart.

  5. amiannmiss concerned

    oh, my god Ami!!!
    I just found out that his Nessus square my Sun and Achiless by 1 orb! 🙁
    And my own Nessus conjunct my Lie asteroid and his Sun. 🙁
    This is terrible! It is too much bad aspects for little one me….
    I think that my Nessus will not help me….

  6. amiannmiss concerned

    Ami, what about mars square saturn in synastry isn’t it a violent aspect?
    I think that I read in the forum Lindaland that one woman had such an aspect with her husband and he attacked her when she left him,they put her 2 photos before the attack and after the attack.Do you remember what was the aspect and whose was the saturn his or her?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      What is your LL name, if you care to say? I would ask about this on LL. That is what I do. No man is an island. No man can know everything about Astrology. Even Tameem Saiid does not know all the asteroids as there are over 2ooo lol

  7. amiannmiss concerned

    What is LL name? Is it a nick in a Lindaland forum? I don’t have a name there and I don’ t write there I just read sometimes when I find something that interest me through google.
    Ami do you know I found something else that I didn t noticed it.My dejanira opposite my Nessus 2 orbs.So it means that my Nessus conjunct his Sun and Apollo and opposite my Dejanira.OOOO
    What can it mean, that I can abuse him and can be a victim the same time?I hoped that it is only Nessus, but it seems that it is like you say that Nessus and Dejanira come together.What does it mean in my natal and in synastry?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      We can abuse and be a victim, at the same time. This is usually the case. These energies are opposite sides of the same coin, if you will. You need to try to feel out the energy of each planet or asteroid. Then, you can see how it impacts what it touches. Nessus is the abuser. The Sun is the identity. The Abuser touches the identity of the other person. In this case, the abuser would abuse the other person, as it is the other person’s Sun, in that example. Dejanira is the victim. This asteroid would work in the same way.

  8. amiannmiss concerned

    Thank you Ami,very much!!! It is so hard to feel a specific planet or asteroid from all this salad of the chart. 🙂
    Ami, maybe I am wrong,but I feel that you have some planet or important asteroid in taurus 0-3 degrees or 29 aries or 22 sag.? I have there very important planet and asteroid.But maybe I am wrong and it is my imagination.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Wow, interesting Miss Concerned. How fascinating. I will have to look. Thanks so much! Yes, the chart can feel like a salad but as one does all the asteroids, only a few are really dominant in any chart, it seems. It is as if each person is challenged in a certain way and that way is different from everyone else. I can’t even do a chart without asteroids, now. Are you on FB? Please,come on my FB page. We can talk, more. 🙂 🙂

  9. amiannmiss concerned

    Ami, FB is it facebook?I don t have it ,but I will create my page on facebook.I will be glad to talk to you!!!! :))) And tell me if you have any important planet or asteroids in this degrees!

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Yes, please go on my FB page which you can “Like” on the front of my website, I think. If not, type this keyword into FB- mychristianpsychic . Yes, I will have to check and see if I have asteroids there. I do so many charts that I neglect my own 😛

  10. amiannfoglia

    actuallly web search brought me here; and so i m glad that I found someone who has certain amount of statistics about synastry aspects.
    i thank you so much in advance for any comment that you’d give.

    my partner gives me such peace & such passion simultaneously that i cannot describe enough. he never ever caused any pain for years i think neither did i. he is like ‘utopia’ himself.
    should i think that one day everything will go upside down?

    here are the aforementioned aspects.

    my natal nessus opposite his sun (exact)
    his natal nessus trine my sun (exact)
    his draco nessus conjunct my natal venus (1′)
    my draco nessus opposite his natal dejanira (exact)
    my draco dejanira conjunct his draco descendant (again exact)
    my natal saturn conjunct his draco descendant (exact)
    his draco venus conjunct my natal pluto (& draco groom) (1′ for both)
    my natal venus conjunct his natal saturn (3′)
    my natal ic conjunct his natal ascendant (2′)
    my draco venus conjunct both my ic & his ascendant (1′- 1′)
    my natal psyche conjunct his natal pluto (1′)
    my draco eros conjunct his natal psyche (3′)
    my natal pluto trine his natal proserpina (exact)
    my natal proserpina conjunct his draco nessus (1′) (i ve proserpina conj venus natally)

    & there are so much more… (like pygmalion cnj galetea, zeus opposite hera etc…)

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Just the first two aspects would make Nessus a major theme. The Nessus would be related to both of your identities. IOW, you would bring up the slice of life which has the darkest impulses and highlight this to each other. In simple words, you may have a great urge to abuse each other. Do you?

      1. amiannfoglia

        thank you once more for your reply. here i found lots of valuable info. m glad that i m here 🙂 actually ‘abuse’ would be the very last word that i would choose for our relationship.
        yes, it is ‘the most different’ relationship of my life. & yes i feel like ‘under shower of passion’ for years (cannot get our hands from each other), we r mentors for one another, romanctiswise i feel fully satisfied, i feel complete with him alhough this relationship let me be an individual aswell. i feel as if i havent known love before…

  11. amiannKristin

    interesting this about asteroids… I just wonder to what orb these asteroids counts in synastry?
    I have one potential romance where his Nessus is 5 degrees from my moon… would that make a strong influence you think?

    Warm autumn wishes

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Kristen
      5 degrees would be ambient, at best imo
      However, ambient may be a factor. I have Moon conjunct Mars at 9 degrees, I can feel it when I get really angry. Other times, I can’t. That is what I would mean by ambient. I am a Cancer moon and mars. If anyone hurts someone I love, I do go wild 😛

  12. amiannJacqueline

    I am in a relationship where my partner’s Nessus and Mercury conjunct my Descendant/North Node/Chiron in Gemini within 1 degree. Is it a path of growth for me to my partner’s heal Nessus issues?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Well, just an opinion if it were me. I would not get married. Nessus is not a pretty asteroid. These kinds of things can really become dominant after you marry and have children. Then, you are stuck. xx

  13. amiannAnn

    Does this sound too harsh an aspect?
    His South Node conjunct her Dejanira. And her moon conjunct his Nessus. Both orbs under 1 degree…

      1. amiannAnn

        Thanks 🙂 I actually messed up a bit here, it’s his Dejanira conjunct her South Node which probably makes things a bit different?

        I don’t really know him very well (yet.. maybe) and should probably stay away but i keep thinking about him. We also have a pretty tight Sun/Juno/Lilith conjunction (he’s the Sun and Juno)… And my moon conjuncts his Sun (7 degrees)… And his Lilith conjuncts my North Node.

        Also our Kaalis conjunct eachother exactly.. which probably isn’t helping because it’s opposite our Nessus/Moon conjunction…

        It all seems too intense probably 😀

  14. amiannmeow

    I have a question about the dejanira aspect. There’s a man whose Dejanira conjuct my Venus excatly at the same degree. When we met for the first time…I think I have never felt something like that…as we entered the Heaven…completely melting into each other. We had to separate from each other for a while and now here’ s a possibility to meet each other again. I must admit that the pain I expereinced when we separated was one of the most horrible emotional experiences ever…I don’ t know for him, but I suppose the same (he became very very restless, he seemed disturbed, and ran away). I thought instantly that he recognized that energy and couldn’t handle it. In the meantime when I thought I overcome it we met again on the interent and started conversaton.
    I red that in case of dejanira contacts to personal planets, I’m the one supposed to be the “molester”…Is that true and what should I do? I don’t want that because we are about to collaborate professionaly soon….and I deeply admire him… I don’t want to hurt him. Fortunatelly we don’t have nessus connection though my personal nessus conjuct my Dsc.

  15. amiannBoswellia

    Hi Ami,

    In synastry, how would the energy be expressed if the Pluto is Rx?

    PlutoRx/Vigro 17.58 Conj. Nessus/Vigro 16.47


    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Pluto RX re-cyles primal passions in an interior way rather than expresses them directly. Rx makes for an internal journey before one can learn to deal with the planet.

  16. amiannB.M.

    Hey Ami Ann,

    I just started reading a little about Nessus and Dejanira and don’t fully understand them. I have a newish friend that feels like a karmic-pull relationship. This person’s pluto is exactly conjunct my sun and her nessus is opposite my dejanira (off by a couple of degrees). There are other good indicators for a caring friendship, but these make me hesitate now. What do you think?


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