My clients are my teachers. I consider it a great honor that they allow me into their lives and their most private thoughts. I form my theories based on them, myself and the charts. There is not much written about asteroids, so one is a sort of intrepid explorer. I explore the asteroids that resonate with me the most.
Nessus is the abuser. We all have one. Dejanira is the victim. We all have one. The asteroids are very personal to each natal chart. They are very personal to each relationship. If a person does not have a prominent Nessus in the natal chart, she will experience Nessus in synastry. This is true for all asteroids. Hence, one can experience them through relationships.
I have come to know when a client has a Nessus/Deja relationship. She will call me “unglued”. She will be desperate to get the man. She will feel that she will die if she doesn’t.The urgency tells me that it is a Nessus/Deja relationship. I have always been right, so far.
I will look at the chart and his Nessus will be conjunct her ASC, Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars or DSC, usually. Deja will be involved too. These asteroids seem to work in a pair, like a tag team. I may get the client while she is in the throes of a Nessus/Deja relationship. I may get the client after it is over. In this case, the client is much wiser. That is the subject of this article.
I used to think that people should run from Nessus/Deja relationships. However, they would not. They could not. The power is too overwhelming. Picture that sexy vampire in a vampire movie. You want him to take the girl. You know it is going to happen. It is inevitable. That is the feeling of a Nessus/Deja relationship. The passion must run it’s course. There is nothing I or anyone can say to stop it. I know from experience, as I know most of the things I write about.
Once the passion cools, the Nessus/Deja relationship seems to fall to ashes. The people wonder how they were bewitched so. They are in a stunned state of disbelief. Many have lost things that were important to them such as money and possessions. If not, many have lost other relationships with people who warned them, but they would not listen.
I missed my central point which was how Nessus/Deja relationships can be purifying. They seem to be very, very purifying. This surprised me. I did not come to this conclusion until I had enough experience counseling people. Now, I see that these relationships are life changing. The person is burned as if from an actual fire. A fire can burn away dross. The Bible talks about this. We will lose all our material possessions and all out ego achievements when we die. We come to God with only the good deeds we did out of a pure heart.
In the same way, a Nessus/Deja relationship will burn off ego layers. Let me say this. The pain will be incredible. You will feel as if you have a knife in your guts. You will cry as if your heart is breaking. The tears will be like fire. However, after it all, you will be changed. The change could never come by talk therapy, meditation or any New Age methods. The change has come from pure upheaval of your ego.
Ego reduction is the worst sort of pain. It feels as if we are melting. Most people will avoid this pain. However, the pull of the Nessus/Deja relationship makes it impossible to leave, just like the kiss of the vampire.
My conclusion is that one must respect the power of these relationships. They have a power unlike much else. Should I person walk away? I will let you be the judge.
Nessus is only a few degrees away from ASC, and Deja only a few degrees away from Venus… Both cojunct. Problem?
Hi Red
With asteroids, we need them really close, not more than 3 tops in a conjunction and really fewer. If you have nessus conj your ASC, you probably have the desire to abuse. I bet this is not a new concept to you. With deja conjunct the Venus, you may be the victim when it comes to love
What do you think?
It’s 12th house nevermind! The latter is true though
I see. Do you want to give me some examples, Red. You are anonymous
What if you are in relationship with someone who has Nessus conj ASC exact degree in natal but doesn’t conjunct any of your personal planet in synastry (or even if conjunct) but is not in connection with your Deja, will he still abuse in some way?
And in connection to Deja, only conjunction counts or other aspects too?
Great question, Eva. I would say no. He will not use his nessus on you. That is just an opinion but it seems to make sense.
Thank you Ami for answer! So it would mean that Nessus has no effect even if it touches personal planet in synastry if there is no connection to deja?
You are very welcome, Eva.Thank you for your comments. Ok–this is a new question. If Nessus touches personal planets in synastry, it will have an effect! Yes, Nessus can stand on it’s own, without Deja.
Now it is all clear to me, thank you! 🙂
Good Eva cuz you were mixing me up LOL
Hello again Ami! And yet another interesting view on Nessus 🙂
I have read some articles about it and some are saying that Nessus will shed light on the abuse so it can end once and for all.. So purifying makes sense according to that I think.
Now I wonder how would Nessus conjuct Aldebaran operate? I have a friend whose Venus is conjunct Nessus and Aldebaran and wonde how this would affect his affection in love… espcially since this is conjuct my IC!
My first thought is that Aldebaran could shed light on Nessus and give som sort of choise… ? As i read that Aldebaran is illuminating and giving choises to what is illuminated..
Would be interesting to hear your view! 🙂
Thank you, Kristin. I do know about Aldebaran because I have it conj my Venus. It will give you great honor, dignity, riches and high social standing BUT if you act without integrity, you will fall to dishonor in a very bad way. You will be disgraced. Pretty scary. if this conjunt Venus with nessus, I would say that this person needs to be really careful lol
Ok, thanks!
So it sounds like Aldebaran would maybe challenge Nessus…
I still wonder haw it will play out with the conjunction to my IC in synastry.. We actually share the same heritage from indiginous roots from a people that has been suppressed and disgraced in the past, so maybe this shows this and also the need to shed light upon this inheritage as it also is a part of our history and ourself..
Just something i thought of now..
Hmmm I don’t see it as cultural but personal but I could be wrong.
Yes, actually I think so too having felt it out a bit.. I guess I just want to find the answer to this so I get more clear if this relationship is “good” or “bad”, and that this placement gives me some hesistance to fully embrace it. So it’s confusing..
There is some other nice aspects in the synastry so I wonder if this aspect would overshaddow these in the whole picture?
Can you put the chart up in my Forum? Ask any questions you have. Do you know how to put a chart up? I will help you, if you don’t, Kristin.
Hey Ami,
what do you feel about someone’s Nessus conjunct my North Node?
Hi Elisa
Yikes. I would not get married with that placement lol
To say it straight out. I think he will bring you abuse and abuse will be the theme of your relationship. How close is the conjunction. It must be within 2-3 degrees imo
I actually know a couple that has this in synastry and there has been no abuse as far as I know.. They are together since quite young and seems to have a stable relationship. But I think it can show something about that they are both belong to the indiginous people here in north Norway that has been suppressed in the past and still there is ripples from this within the culture. So my thought is that I think they might be affected by this in their relationship as well…
But I might of course be wrong and I am not an astrologist. I just wonder if Nessus can actually play out in areas that is not only personal. That would make sense since an individual is always connected to the web that connects all life <3
Well, I hear you about the indigenous culture. I would say no but I could be wrong, for sure! I think our charts are personal but that would be a personal journey, too. I really don’t know.
Hi Amiann,
How would you feel about a man having his Nessus conjunct a woman’s Deja (2 degree orb)?
Welcome Susan
YIKES. I think it would be an abusive relationship. Tell me about it.
It’s just someone I know professionally but am drawn to.
I see, Susan. The Nessus/Deja does draw you like a magnet!
Why is that? What purpose could something so devastating serve?
The purpose is that you re-live your abuse. In doing so, you can bring it up from the subconscious to the conscious. In doing so, you can heal. Talk therapy is supposed to do this but I have never seen it done, Susan.
And who is more drawn/desperately attracted in the couple, the Deja or the Nessus person? Or is it mutual?
Ummm Good question, Susan. I would guess mutual but if I had to really choose one, I would say the deja.
Thanks Ami. Love your site. So detailed. I’ve learned so much from you.
You are welcome, Susan dear. Thank you for coming on and for your lovely words. They mean a great deal to me. These kind of comments keep me going!
Taking some time to really think it over I can see just where this person is reenforcing my childhood abuse. He has the same opinion of me I got from my abuser. I am so grateful for this heads-up.
Just for study, I have a friend who has Deja conjunct the north node and Venus. He was captured at age 14 and thrown into a Nazi death camp for 2 years before being freed by the Americans. He lost his entire family and his home. He has lectured throughout the US and Europe as an adult about his experiences. Another example, a teacher of mine has Deja conjunct the sun,exact. As a young teen, she was brutally raped by her older brother and ran away from home after that. Never came back. She is a sex therapist now in the US.
Man, Susan! Thank you so much for these. Deja conjunct pivotal spots is probably the hardest thing in the charts.
I have nessus in Virgo in 3degrees conjunct Midheaven by 1 degree. How does this play out?
You may play out abuse in your career or in the general society, in some way lol It could be channeled in some way such as a surgeon, in that they cut into people. It does not have to be abuse, per se. It could be someone who writes crime novels etc However, the theme of abuse will be there. Does that fit, Tiffany?
I’m a psychology major and haven’t yet started my career so I’m not too sure. Could it be I can hurt people I help?
Also, in a past relationship my nessus was conjunct their Valentine by 2 degrees. Would this mean I abused the love they showed me?
Wow I am impressed with how honest you are, Tiffany. As to nessus conj the MC, I am really not sure all the ways it could play out. I think you would have the URGE to abuse. Let me say that, as I always try to be real. However, you could take that urge and use it to fight abuse for others. You see, these energies can be used in positive ways, if we face them and you are doing that. I have a great deal of respect for you, my Friend.