How To Break Down Defense Mechanisms

This is dedicated to one of my dearest clients. She knows who she is. We have a synastry in which our Gemini planets touch each others, so it is a pure delight to talk to her, as we understand each other very easily.

I have made my own program to break down defense mechanisms. Traditional means failed me. I was sent to a psychiatrist when I was 12. My mother is a therapist . I have been in therapy my whole life until I had a light bulb moment in which I realized it was making me worse.

Actually, I was pretty emotionally stable before I started therapy. After the many years of therapy, I was a mess. I knew that I needed to find my own program if I had any hope of emotionally healthy living. Second to God, it is my life’s passion.

I want to be the girl who was in good shape before she started therapy. I write this for all the other people who feel like the traditional methods failed them.

After I quit therapy, I knew my thinking was very messed up. I was a “walking head”. I was cut off from my feelings. I was, actually, divorced from my feelings. My mother had gotten into my head, as a child, and criticized my thoughts and feelings so badly that I was afraid of them. I was afraid of any negative feeling or thought. Thank Goodness, I still had enough sanity to realize this was crazy, but I still did not know how to break it.

I realized that if I could hold on to my small amount of sanity, no doctor or shrink could put me away, so I held onto this sanity for dear life. I never took any psych meds, as I did not want to mess with this small level of sanity I had. I did not trust myself to any shrink. It is funny that I tried a few Christian counselors and they were much worse than the nonreligious counselors.

I wrote the last pastor a letter that he had no business counseling anyone and I left the church, forever.

All I had was my small amount of sanity and it was more precious than the Hope Diamond.

I realized that I had to reconnect with my feelings. It has been very, very slow but is working. I will tell you my plan, for anyone who is interested.

The most important goal is to reconnect with your feelings. Your feelings are your inner child. If you were abused, you were told that this child is bad. You punish her. You put her in the attic. You chain her up. You hurt her( or him). This is the most important thing that has to change. The doing of it is very,very, very hard, though.

You have to put yourself into situations in which you are called upon to use your true feelings. You can do it in an internet group, as I did. I was too afraid to do it in my real life, in which I was a wimp and a people pleaser.

As you do this, you will be put down, humiliated and hated. You need to go through this, in order to heal. Without it, you will stay locked into your defense mechanisms.

The pain is the healer. However, you must have a few people who will support you in this. God will send them, if you ask. I have a few. They have been on my side. They did not throw me away, although I had fights and differences with them. These people are God sent angels. One is a Christian. The other two are not.

Don’t get locked into the idea that all your friends have to be Christians. Some people do this and they live in a small world. God will guide you to people. The closer I get to God, the more I can venture into out of the way places places.

If you express your true self, you will be hated. You will stir up the people who are hiding, which is most everyone. If people do not want to face themselves, they will try to stuff you back into your box. This is not a bad thing, even though it feels terrible. It is the sand paper you need to grow.

In time, you will be able to laugh at these people and walk away. However, this takes a lot of time and can never be done perfectly.

Now, I am at the point where I do this in my real life. I talk and act according to my feelings.I, still, have a lot of shame . I feel afraid to show people who I am because I feel I am bad.This hurts but without the pain, there is no healing.