Christian Psychic Readings & Astrology Charts for All Faiths

Why Are We Attracted to Abusive People?

I have been ruminating on this topic for ten years. I have seen a certain configuration in the charts of client but I have seen it in my own relationship charts to know that it is very real, in my opinion and experience. I hope this gives you something to consider in your own relationships.

First of all, I will tell you something about myself that I feel embarrassed about. However, I have had enough life experience to know that if I experience something, many other people will, too. I do have the ability to open up about my pain and this does seem to free others. i feel this is one of my gifts. Aspect wise, it may be a Grand Trine of the Ascendant, Venus and Chiron.

Back to the subject. I find that the asteroid Ceres is very powerful in the synastry chart. Ceres is really my favorite in the chart of men. It gives the man a very nurturing quality.I, also, find that Nessus plus Ceres makes the man so attractive to me that I don’t even know how to handle it.( I do handle it for those of you who want to call the cops)

I had an experience that made me want to discuss this topic. It is my relationship with a U Tube person. First of all, I never met the person. I happened to watch one of his videos on the Covid vaccine. I found him to be the most attractive man I have ever seen. Also, to add a interesting wrinkle, he is gay. He is a make up artist—Wayne Goss. I watch his videos just to see him talk.

He has Ceres and his Moon in exact conjunction to my IC. So, he is very nurturing. He feels very, very nurturing to me because the IC is one of the most vulnerable places in the entire chart. Now, for the clincher. His Nessus conjuncts my MC. This tells me that he will abuse me and people will SEE it. This is a Nicole/OJ aspect/

Nessus is the asteroid of abuse. Everyone has every asteroid. It is the synastry or relationship chart which shows us what Nessus will do in the relationship. In some relationships, Nessus is not a factor at all.. However, if there is a strong Nessus, the relationship begins with passion that is the strongest I have ever seen or felt. However, the relationship will not be happy even if you stay together. fro many years. Nessus is “too hot not to cool down”. When it does cool down, that which remains to the participants is the worst hate I have ever seen.

I hope I have explained a phenomena I have been observing for some time. I am here to be practical, not to look intellectual or to appease people.

PS I want to add a note. One is that I do not think Wayne Goss is abusive at all. In fact, he is very loving(Moon conjunt Ceres) and he tends to stuff his emotions rather than act on them, which is classic for Mars in Cancer. He mentions that he has stomach issues, which is classic for this kind of stuffing. I would know because I have it. However, with me, Wayne would want to be abusive due to the INTERACTIONS of our charts. I am not saying he would be abusive to me but the urge would be there.So, please note that what happens in synastry does not necessarily mean that either of the people have that trait. The relationship brings it out.

PPS If Wayne Goss were straight and attracted to me, I would never have a relationship with him no matter how I FELT. I know that the chart would come to pass.Ten years ago, I would have moved heaven and earth to have him because my FEELINGS could be very strong.The difference is that I KNOW the relationship would be hell. So, please study your charts before you make life changing decisions!

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29 thoughts on “Why Are We Attracted to Abusive People?

  1. amiannMarie

    Thanks Amiann , these observations are extremely helpful ! What do you think of Nessus conjunct someones IC in their natal chart and opposing their Sun on the MC ? Waits in suspense as i think i know what you will say 🙂

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      The person with Nessus conj the IC had severe abuse in childhood if the aspect is close–1-3.If it opposes the MC and Sun, it may be a struggle for them not to be abusive when others are weak. I am close to someone with this aspect so try to watch him and learn from it

      1. amiannMarie

        Interesting Amiann, thank you ! i too feel inclined to learn from this persons behaviour, and find the level of arrogance mind blowing but whats underneath it may be severe wounding. Narcissism 101 is present, love bomb, devalue, discard and all of the other nasty tricks. Scorpio stellium squares Moon too. Appears to have zero remorse. Gemini IC Nessus exact. Opposition 2 degrees orb.

  2. amiannM

    What does it mean when one persons Sado in the sign of Aquarius squares another’s persons dejanira in the sign of Scorpio at 1 degree. Basically what does one persons Sado squaring another persons dejanira in synastry mean..? Is this a obsession aspect that could represent abuse on the dejanira person. I’m the dejanira person.. please tell me what the above mentioned aspect could manifest into in your opinion..

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Thanks for reading M!
      Sado square Deja would make a victim of the Deja person from sadism from the Sado person. Sado will hide it for a long time though so please beware. Also, if the Deja person is strong, she will fight back. If not, she will take it.

  3. amiannTish

    This is my favorite place to go to learn about Nessus. Would Nessus Opp Deja in synastry be as brutal as a Nessus/ Planet aspect? Thank you!

  4. amiannAngie

    This is such a fascinating post and topic. It’s actually right on time per usual. I recently discovered that I have my Natal Ceres conjunct my nephews Nessus exact. I am wondering how this will play out? Have you interpreted or observed this conjunction before Amiann?

  5. amiannAngie

    Oh and, another thing the mother of my nephew has her Nessus exactly on my Ascendant in Cancer. In our composite chart, there is Nemesis conjunct Moon in the 12th house. I have been so puzzled about these placements and the tension, felt in her presence.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      You have your answers about this person. She wants to abuse you and you feel it and one of you will be a hidden enemy to the other. It will be a theme to the relationship. Maybe, both could be, also

  6. amiannBonnie

    I live like that now with a man i told you about. In composite (ref method).
    7th house=
    sun in cancer 19°, nessus 20° conjunct asteroïd lie 20°, mercury 24° (exact his lilith 4th), moon 7° cancer (exact my nessus 6° cancer 8th house trine my ascendant 8° scorpio conjunct his venus 8° scorpio 7th house).
    Opposite venus 19° capricorn 1st. If i use midpoint chart, 7th house will be 6th house and venus will be in 12th house.
    My natal has north node 16° cancer 9th house.
    He has nessus and aphrodite (1388) 14° cancer 4th house.
    I have nessus 25° in cancer 9th house conjunct his lilith.

    He lied, he cheated in the beginning of our relationship, i felt depressed. He is mentally abusive, emotional and sexual.
    He has ceres exact on mc capricorn 10° conjunct narcissus (37117), and conjunct the name asteroïd of his ex he cheated with.
    I have juno Rx 9° capricorn 2nd house.
    He has asteroïd lie 3° leo in 5th house.
    His juno is 24° capricorn (10th) trine his sun virgo 6th and north node 26°.

    When i told him to leave he wont leave. He tried to impregnate me without asking or consent. When i speak of his behavior he ignores me or gets upset. He has moon 8° aries 12th. I have 6° libra 11th.
    He has mars 28° libra in 7th (close my pluto Rx 25° 12th) i noticed people who have mars in 7th are often angry but dont see that of themselves.
    My ceres is in scorpio 20° 1st house opposite my chiron 22°.
    He has chiron Rx 9° taurus 1st opposite his venus 8° 7th.

  7. amiannSilvia

    Very cool to see this post when the Sun is conjunct my Nessus right now. (within 1 degree)
    My most abusive ex had his natal Nessus square his Venus. In our synastry, his Nessus was conjunct my Sun within 1 degree.
    Moving 2 thousand miles away seemed to e the only way to get him out of my life.
    6 years later I get contacted by one of his current/new girlfriend. She basically needed confirmation to know how crazy he really is towards women. She ended up in the psychiatric ward for 2 weeks.
    I will never ever date a guy again who has Nessus square his Venus, and with an aspect any of my personal planets!

    Thanks for your insight.

  8. amiannM

    Is Sado square dejanira synastry in a tight orb a obsession/abuse aspect and what kind of victim could the dejanira person be of the Sado person.. could it be a sexual victim of the Sado person..

  9. amiannS

    I haven’t done many synastry charts, so it’s hard to give any helpful answer. With the famous people I’m attracted to, many of them have a Capricorn moon and/or other strong Capricorn placements. Maybe it’s because my chart severely lacks earth. I also find hard work and ambition very attractive traits.

    I have sado conjunct the sun. It never crossed my mind until I did my father’s chart, but the sun in the natal chart shows the relationship with the father. Our moons square each other by 2°. My Nessus conjuncts his Pluto and my sado conjuncts his moon. I’m really not sure what to make of this.

      1. amiannS

        I hope it doesn’t come to that. We’ve always had a cool, albeit distant, relationship. I’ll make sure not to let things go overboard though. Maybe these aspects are only triggered when something stressful or traumatic happens.

  10. amiannInniyah

    Hi I adore your blog! I am stuck and stumped in a situation. Where a person who has his natal Saturn conjunct Nessus and conjunct the South node in the 5th house is conjunct MY Chiron in the 12th house. It’s like I have deep memories of this person from another lifetime. The feeling will not let up! Can you offer some clarity toward this aspect? Thanks!

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Thank you I. Well, I am gonna say something you may not like. These abusive kind of relationships have the MOST pull on us and it is really hard to let them go. You have to really want to let it go and I suspect you are not there yet.

  11. amiannInniyah

    Thank you so much for responding Amiann. I am in a place where I would like to resolve, understand and heal. So I welcome your advice openly. Your absolutely right, I am trying to understand the nature of the abuse from the past. It takes place in Gemini. Can you offer further clarity?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Gemini is a better place for abuse, if one can say that, because Gemini is a light sign not a powerhouse like Cappy so the abuse may have been more verbal but no abuse is good, so please don’t think I am saying otherwise, !

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