This article is not just about me. It is about everyone who wants to be strong and confident( and that is everyone). It is for those who were taught not to trust themselves. This is really the subject of this article. What are you going to do if you KNOW someone is doing something to you, but they are in your face denying it?
What you do in this situation will make or break you. What you do in this situation will make you healthy or ill. What you do in this situation will make you a winner or a loser.
Of course, one time doing anything won’t make or break you but a pattern will. If you were abused, you were taught not to trust yourself. Most likely, the abuser denied what he was doing. Most likely, he blamed you for seeing him do it. He blamed you for seeing right. In time, you could not see right any more. In time, you believed he was not abusing you, even though you knew it, with every fiber of your being. Once this happened, you were lost. You were the worst kind of lost. You were lost to yourself.
So, lets say that you don’t trust yourself. Let’s say that you are the last one you trust. Let’s say that you trust the people telling you things that go against your gut, which is screaming for you to listen. If you are in this category, I am sure you have had many problems. You probably have had depression. You have probably been in abusive relationships. You probably feel lost as if you could scream and the scream would go on forever. This is how it feels to be lost to oneself. I know because I have been but I am sure you know that.
If we define the problem, that brings solace but it does not solve it. We want to solve it with every fiber of ourselves. Let’s see if we can offer ways to do that. I can just tell you what I do. I force myself to be authentic. I do it in small doses because it is too scary to do in big chunks. Once I get comfortable at one level, I will push myself to the next level.
This brings me to the subject of this article and why I am writing it now. I would say that my contribution to Astrology is not to be politically correct. I may not be right. I may have to change my points of view based on evidence. However, I won’t say the socially acceptable thing. I won’t do it because no one should bother reading me if I do. I should have no respect for myself if I do. I know because I have been there and I had no respect for myself.
How does one combat the fear of standing for what one believes. I do have a relationship with God. I don’t think I could do this without it. If everyone rejects me, God will still be there for me. That is a security. I do not have to do this without God, so cannot speak to that.
My articles usually write themselves. They go where they want. This one seems to want to give you some background. I have been a Moderator at Linda-Goodman.com for four years. When I say that Randall, the owner and webmaster, taught me everything I know, I am exaggerating. However, he taught me to stand up. He taught me how to ignore and walk away. He taught me how to deal with people in your face, people hating you and people harassing you.
I was never taught this as a child because I had to love my abuser or I would have gotten hurt. That is not a good environment to learn self esteem. I know I am not alone in this.I do enough charts to know that many people have lost their voices. Hence, I know that I write to people who want to get them back.
I think that one has to DO IT, as the Nike ad says. Force yourself to be yourself even if you know the whole room will not like you. It will be horrible at first. Then, it will get easier. As you lose friends, you will gain more. These will love you for who you are, not who you think you should be. This is an outline of something which is a mountain. I have expressed it as a hill. It is all I can do, as I am trying to climb it right alongside of you.
Please, write on my Comment Form if you can relate.