I do not shy away from tough topics because most people do. In this politically correct world, truth is the new hate speech. To me, truth is love. Love is what we all need, just as a flower needs water. In that spirit, I will try to address this topic. Many men lament that woman want the bad boys and leave the nice guys, in the lurch. It can be similar for woman, but different enough that I will leave that topic for another time.
The kind of question a guy would ask would be, “I am nice. I have a good job and good prospects. I will treat her well. I won’t abuse her. I will treat her with respect. I will honor her. I will take her to nice places. Why does she go with the bad dude, with no prospects, who treats her like garbage?” I will attempt to answer this question from my life experience, my intuition and my experiences as a counselor and an astrologer.
The most basic answer is that human nature is what it is. Egghead psychologists like to try to exalt it. Sociologists do the same. Philosophers wax exotic on the beauties of human nature, and there are beauties, but there are, also, uglies. In the dating world, you must accept the uglies or you will not get to first base. Don’t get mad at me. I didn’t make the rules. For some signs, game comes easily. That would be Mars in Scorpio. The reason game comes easily to him is that he is a “feeler”. He does not need to ask questions like this because he has figured them out, from his gut. Remember that Pluto is the primal tiger, roaming the veld, stalking it’s prey. How well would he get his prey of he threw himself out there and said, “HI, I want you for dinner” He needs tactics. He needs to understand the dynamics of power( as they are always there, in all human relationships) For the person who cannot figure out the dynamics of power, he will be alone on Saturday night.
In this article, I want to address the question, in as practical a way as possible. The rules behind human nature are not that difficult, but they are ugly. No one really wants to face ugly, so they run to high mountain tops and pontificate on the state of the world, while the feelers get what they want. So, I will go step by step, in a practical way, to try to deal with this subject.
1. People want what is hard to get
This is human nature. If something comes too easily, people don’t value it. Hence, if you come to easily, people won’t value you.
2. People want what other people have.
If you seem like no one wants you( just being brutally honest, here), people will think there is something wrong with you and won’t want you, either.
3. People want someone who is confident.
If you are not( which most people are not) you have to fake it
4. People want someone who can see beyond their superficial layer to their core
People want to be known. If you are very superficial, you will lose the interest of others, fast. If you are beautiful, men( or woman) will keep you around for your beauty, for a period of time, but beauty without substance gets ugly, and this kind of relationship does not last, or if it does, it is unhappy.
5. People want someone who is interesting
Being interesting means being authentic. When someone is authentic, people pick it up and you have an interest to others.
6. People want someone who is not desperate.
If you feel desperate( and most of us do), don’t show it. Find something that builds you up and force yourself to act with confidence, even if it is a total act. Learning to fake confidence can be the first step to actually getting it, as you will see the good outcomes and get real confidence, in the process.
7. Act like you can take her or leave her
This will increase her interest in you, to a great extent.
8. Be polite, but be mysterious
Don’t let all your inner workings hang out, right away. Let her work to get to know you. Again, people want what they have to work for.
9. Act as if you have a full schedule, even if you don’t. Act as if she is lucky to jump on your train, as it is going somewhere, even if you don’t believe it is.
10. I came back to add another one. Do not ask a girl if you can kiss her. If you cannot feel out the situation, enough to know the answer, intuitively, you need to focus on how to do that. Find someone to help, like a platonic girl you trust or someone like me, who has an objective view of things. Sometimes, if you ask the girl if you can kiss her, that one act alone will eliminate you as a potential boyfriend. Women like the alpha males. If you don’t feel like an alpha male, you have to learn how to fake it, as that is one of the things the bad boys have–that alpha male confidence.
11. For all the men who are despairing, when you read this, and I have talked to a few, woman are in the same boat. If a woman is “totally honest”, no man is going to want her, either. There is a real life perspective, one must have. It is because it is a fallen world, as the Bible would say. People have apart of them which is bad. We all do. That came in as a result of the fall, but that is another story that I have addressed in other articles. For now, one must make the best of what is. There is a place for love, tenderness and gentleness, but one must know when to wield power, for the purposes of one’s own safety and for a position of respect in human relationships.
12. This is the most important. You have inherent value because God made you. No man can take that away. It is yours. Once you find that, you won’t need this article or any other.
The best game to have is to know that God loves you and you are worth multitudes. Then, you don’t have to have game.