What makes someone find Jesus? I wonder about this. It took me reaching the lowest emotional bottom. If I would have had anything or anyone to hold me up, I would not have found Jesus. I don’t know if finding Jesus, as a Jewish person, is harder. I think it would be harder, but I wonder if everyone must hit a personal bottom. I suppose I am posing this question.
For me, the last thing I wanted to do was be a Jesus freak. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be a winner. I wanted to be confident. I wanted to marry a man who would love me and have children I would love. We would have a place in the world, together. I wanted an extended family.Cancer moon loves closeness with family, more than anything. The fact that I could not have an extended family broke my heart. Cancer Moon was made to be part of a loving group.
I thought I was Born Again for 15 years, but I did not know God, personally. I knew Him, intellectually, if you can say that. However, he was not close to me. A year ago, I had a true Born Again experience, where I knew Him. However, yet, I am still me: very flawed, very imperfect, very anxious, very much NOT a model for anything.
Yet, I have Him. He is mine.