Christian Psychic Readings & Astrology Charts for All Faiths

Synastry of Obsession

Many of my clients are woman and come to me ready to die if they do not get the guy. Others have gotten the guy and are going to die if they don’t get RID of him. Hence, I have a front row seat to the subject of obsession. I understand how it feels. I think it is a human experience. As with most life experiences, the chart can guide you from the beginning to the end, with as few casualties as possible. You will come out with valuable lessons, having learned them from the fire, always the best way.

I have never seen obsession without classic aspects in the chart. One is Nessus. Nessus is the asteroid of the abuser and we all have one.The other factor which is always present is the asteroid Dejanira. Dejanira is the asteroid of the victim and we all have one. Astrology is humbling. Each person is capable of everything. However, the chart configuration presents different challenges to each of us. To a person with a prominent Nessus in the natal chart, he will want to abuse. There is no way to say it, but straight out. By prominent, I mean Nessus conjunct the ASC, MC, or any of the personal planets which are the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars. Does he HAVE to abuse? No. Will he abuse until he learns the spiritual and emotional lessons which prevent it? Yes, most likely.

Back to the synastry, Nessus is always dominant in a synastry of obsession. I have my own theory as to why. It is because the relationship brings up childhood abuse. Love and abuse are inextricably bound to the person who was abused as a child. Abuse and love form part of a soup in which the ingredients have melded into one. One cannot distinguish parts. As such, the woman( we shall use a woman here, although it could be a man) feels love when she should be running for the hills.

Dejanira is the asteroid of the victim. In a synastry of obsession, both of these asteroids are prominent. Each person will touch a pivotal part of the chart of the other person with his Nessus and Dejanira. It is simply the case and has never failed. The other thing that always seems to happen is that the relationship heats up to nuclear passion and then dies. When it dies, the passion turns to hatred and the hatred can be bad. It can be cold hatred that plots revenge. One does not toy with these asteroids.

I would not call Nessus and Dejanira soul mate asteroids because a soul mate relationship lasts until people are old and grey. Nessus and Dejanira seems to burn up like a firecracker and when it comes down, it is with a fizzle and a thud. I don’t think there is any high quite like a Nessus/Dejanira relationship.If you have ever been in a relationship which feels like heroin, I would bet it was a Nessus/Dejanira relationship. You will feel like you have found your true soul mate. That seems to be the case in all of these relationships. You are as sure of this as of anything. However, it seems to be a deception based on your own history and not the person in front of you. Nessus and Dejanira relationships seem to be a replay of your history. They are wonderful in the beginning, just as you had glorious promise as a child. However, if you were abused, that promise floated away as debris in the ocean. You were left longing for that old life where endless possibilities still seemed as if they could come true. Nessus and Dejanira relationships allow them to come true for a time. That time is magical like little else but it is a mirage as an oasis in the desert to a man dying of thirst.













177 thoughts on “Synastry of Obsession

  1. amiannBlackbird

    You find the nicest photos for your posts… *cough*

    If anyone comes to you, obsessed with me, ready to die if they can’t have me… let me know.

    Hasn’t happened yet, and I’m not holding my breath. I’m not cool enough for anyone to obsess over me.

        1. amiannamiann Post author

          This would be a relationship in which both could be abusers and victims which is not so rare. Deja con Mars in the Comp is a relationship that may be defined by feeling you are stuck as a couple and can’t help this.

  2. amiannJane

    Sorry Please ignore, Nessus conjunct Sun and Mercury at 3 deg not 4, but my Dejanira conjunct Saturn at 3 deg. I don’t ever feel like it is right to abuse or wish that upon myself. I believe in the golden rule. But It’s never a nice thing to hurt me. I’d get revenge.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I would have the same question with Nessus conj the Moon as the Sun and mercury, although each would manifest differently. Do you struggle with the desire to abuse people? Also, do you struggle with being victimized over and over?

  3. amiannJane

    I don’t struggle to abuse because since I was little, I knew it’s not right and I’ll never wish that to happen to anyone, not even my enemy. I’m a Sag Ascendant,I live my life honorably, the situations that hurt and anger me most are those that show how vicious and stingy people can really be. I’m also a life path 5, the same life path as Pres. Lincoln, who abolished slavery. I am not sure If I’m being victimized over and over. But I have been there where people just want me because of what I can give or so I feel it. That’s why I’m trying to be spiritual, so I know how to listen to myself and trust my instincts that I am making the right decision, choosing the right path and trust the right people.

  4. amiannGabby

    Have you ever seen iQ’s thread talking about people who were programmed to be ritualist sacrifices…they desire and recall only in subconscious being tortured and abused…possibly even killed for sacrifice to Gods? Its really interesting! Lilith, Nessus, Dejanira, Hekate, Lucifer and Kaali were some major players in that….even Massalina was mentioned!

  5. amiannleky

    Hello…I have a very complex situation and I need an advice. There is an artist to whom I composed and sent some general we have pretty complex composite chart and lot of karmic aspects. In fact I discovered today that his Deja conjucts my Venus in Aquarius in his 8 house, exactly at the same degree. I m concerned about our professional tie….who will be the Abuser?

    I consider Venus as an artistic planet.


    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Well, Friend
      I could not tell someone to make a major life decision based on a single comment on my Form. I would have to look at your whole chart and give an opinion and it would only be my opinion. I will say that if his Deja conj your Venus, you will be the abuser more than he imo

      1. amiannleky

        thnx.. we met several years ago for the first time and it was 3 minutes short but ultra amazing experience. he remained almost speechless and I had feeling being “finally at home, somewhere beyond this world”. Just like in heaven. I thought he’ s my twin flame… Our composite is really complex – saturn conj sun, mercury and venus conj chiron on ascedent….in 12 house. he must have been my parent in previous life, because my south node conjuct his moon. Unfortunately up to now, we had so many problems with other people around him who were constantly doing harm to me,and to him, lying and manipulating…..That’s 12 composite house I guess. So many things we do in a telepathic way, in dreams and meditation….I took a look in our progressed composite and in october there’ll be moon conjuction to uranus and pluto…I think that’ll be the trigger for our project.

  6. amiannViolets

    What are the implications of someone’s sun being in conjunction with another person’s Dejanira? If the sun person is not abusive by definition of emotionally or physically abusive, will it still just be perceived by the Dejanira person as abusive, regardless of how the sun person behaves? Are there ways to ease that conjunction?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Great question, Violets
      In my opinion, the relationship will play out with the Deja person the victim of the Sun person.Now, we DON”T have Nessus here, which is the abuser asteroid so the Sun does not have to BE the abuser for the Deja to be the victim. Do you see what I mean? The Deja could FEEL like a victim but the Sun may not be an actual abuser to her.

          1. amiannViolets

            Um… Here is the problem. I am the sun placement, and my son is the Deja person. My son also has Cancer AC with Saturn in his 4th house, with a couple of afflictions.
            He also has Chiron in exact conjunction with his Deja, which is conjunct my sun by one degree.

            I am horrified by our charts, as I love my son and am not an abusive person. I am also not a disciplinarian. But I have no idea what to make of this, and it makes me want to cry to be honest.

            My son has a lot of oppositions to his Libra moon with an Aries stellium, so it can be hard for me to keep up with him. I know that I’m not always as “present” as he wants me to be, but that would entail non-stop one-on-one physical activity that can get exhausting after about a half hour. There are also a lot of Pluto/Saturn aspects (or conjunctions), and his Pluto sits on my Vertex, so he is considerably more possessive of me than he is of my husband.

            I spend a good amount of time snuggling, playing hard, teaching, kissing, and hugging him.

            I’m really at a loss here…

          2. amiannamiann Post author

            Wow Wow Wow Violets
            I see your dilemma.
            After we look at your chart on my Forum, we can look at his and your synastry.

          3. amiannViolets

            Erm…maybe this wasn’t the best thread to post the above question in (the thought just occurred to me), as it has so much to do with other placements. My apologies. I’m a little muddled right now.

  7. amiannneptune

    This is just nice new discovery!

    Can you please tell if a person has a lot of aspects to nessus (in natal chart) and an exacte square to Pluto definitely describes an abuser?Here is also an exact trine to venus.
    This person has been sexually abused as a child.
    Schould I run away?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hello Friend and thank you!

      Well, I can’t tell you to run away, per se, without seeing the actual charts and the synastry. Then, I could offer an opinion only of what I would do in that situation. You can post the charts on my Forum in the Personal readings section. I will give a general answer though since you took the time to ask the question.

      To me, a person with Nessus conjunct a personal planet( Sun, moon, Merc, Mars or Venus),the North Node or the ASC or MC will be an abuser. In rare cases, that person can overcome this. This happens by truly finding God. However, prior to this, they will abuse people. I know many people don’t like me to talk straight but I owe that to my readers. If someone took the time to read and comment, I am not going to respond with politically correct drivel. That is my commitment to the people who read my website.

      So, I would not get married to a person with a prominent Nessus. I would not have children with a person with a prominent Nessus.

      What is the exact square to Pluto? If it is nessus, it is generational, as Pluto stays in the same place for a long time. Hence, I would not pay much attention to this.

      1. amiannMadras G

        Hi, in another article you said a person with Nessus conjunct Venus would BE the abused rather than the abuser. So, now I’m confused. Does it depend?

        1. amiannamiann Post author

          You need to see the whole chart but from this one aspect the Venus/Nessus would be the abused one. Other things in this chart could make the person strong so that is the issue but in most cases, they will be abused

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I hear you, Marie. I feel the same. 4 degrees is kind of wide for an asteroid. It may be ambient. If so, you can control it. All things can be controlled with God, too xx

  8. amiannLuna

    My Nessus is 1,5 orb from my moon (Gemini/12th house/Retrograde). Can’t ignore replying to this tread, since here is stated that I would then be an abuser. Sorry but that is less true than anything. I am completely unselfish, so much that I can’t even make myself happy if my happiness doesn’t make someone else happy at the same time… So abuse someone is really the last thing on earth I would ever do. Though, I can say that I am beeing abused myself ‘most’ of the time. That is because other peoples selfishness leads to them finding me good to keep for themselves, since I am so kind and helpful, and wont even hurt a fly. Unfortunately I have a social handicap (communication) that people see only when they get close, and because of it they think that the way to keep me bound to them is by making me think I am worthless to the rest of the world, meaning someone who benefits from me wants to keep me to him/herself by making me believe they are the only one that can stand me – making me feel that wherever I go life can never be better than with that person (eventhough that might be bad too). But that is never true. I have too many other good sides. My social handicap isn’t even that bad. Its really nothing. I see it as minor, but for some reason those people want to see it as enormous (bad circle though, since what other people ‘want’ to see is what you really are). So I always end up beeing abused, going from one abuser to another. So, Moon conjunct Nessus does definitely NOT mean you must be an abuser. Although I can add that I am pretty good at getting back at them when their abuse have stepped over the limit. And Yes, I can be really angry (Mars 0 degrees in cap square pluto). I verbally tell them how selfish their action have been and make them understand their underlying motive (I am good at psychology). That usually ends in them beeing so ashamed of what they put me through, and even more sorry that they lost my love/friendship. They never expected me to be a really strong individual who won’t take crap, only because of how enormous they wanted to see my minor handicap as beeing…

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Just thinking about this, a bit. The Moon is an interior planets, so you may not express the urge to abuse(Nessus) as much as someone with nessus conjunct an exterior point like the ASC or the NN. We all have a Nessus, so you are not unique with that. What does your Dejanira do? Perhaps, you have been more victimized and hence do not identify with the abuser, but more of the victim.

  9. amiannLuna

    My Dejanira conjunct Mars in Capricorn (Dejanira = 3,2 / Mars = 0,11).
    I tried to find what it means when they are conjunct, but no luck.

    Nessus is on the other side of the chart in Gemini conjunct Moon (but not in opposition). And Moon conjunct Saturn in 12th house. Pretty much a crappy life of being lonely, isolated, misunderstood and innocently accused. Having lived with that crap all my life I am the Number One to understand that some people can be unlycky enough to end up in the complete wrong situations. I am always trying to help those who are being accused, even though they might also have strong evidence pointing against them – cause they might just be as unlucky as me…

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Deja conj Mars would make me think that you would slide into the victim role very easily. You would not realize you were doing it. At work, all of the work could be dumped on you and you would feel as if it were normal, that kind of thing.

      1. amiannLuna

        Yes, everything is dumped on me. But I realise it. And if I stand up for myself saying its not my job – then they hate me. They spread lies about me and make sure I feel how much they dislike me. And they keep doing that until I either lose my job or I have to quit myself because of the pressure. But for as long as I slave for them, I am ok.

      1. amiannLuna

        Yes! And she still is, but never admit. Last year I tried to force her to say she is sorry for what she put me through in my childhood. But she just says “I can’t remember”. But she does. I know she does. But besides always and still doing everything she can to undermine my confidence – she is to everyone else the nicest person on earth. And that was also what I used to think about her too, cause in all other ways but the subtile and when no one else is around, she is actually overly nice. She gives me money if I need it etc, making herself an angel. But always, always… she has an urge to make me feel worthless. It really scrues your brain up when someone is overly nice, but psychologically abusive. Because you have no physical evidence to show otherwise.

        A few weeks ago I was told by my father that she kept a secret that I was bullied during all years in school. He said when he found out about the bullying and asked her why she never told him – she said she hid it from him so that he wouldn’t be angry(!). If he had a chance to be angry – I would had known he loved me. And I would had known she was my problem rather than those who bullied me in school. And I would had a chance to rise when I was a child. But he never got the chance to stand up for me… He was no support to me at all, cause as it seems my mother always treated him the same way as me. So he has always been living in his own world, feeling unloved and worthless too, thinking he wasn’t worthy my love either. She kept us apart. She had me as a scape goat and my brothers were favourised – but no one believes me when I tell today, except for my father (but no one believes him either because of how scrued up she have made him seem to others). Cause my mother still seems to everyone as being the perfect angelic person, and my communication problem makes everyone think I am the one to blame for everything instead. They see me as evil for wanting to blame my problems on her…

  10. amiannLuna

    I also have Chiron square Ascendant, being only 1 degree from the beginning of the 11th house cusp. I heard that makes me a healer and more concerned with making other people happy, rather than taking care of myself. My Descendant conjunct North Node. North Node is therefore also square my Chiron (makes people block every step I try taking on my life path, which leaves me to not be able to do much other than spend my time staring into a wall nowadays). As well as Neptune is also only a degree from the 6th house cusp. Heard that as well mean serving others but mostly by being used, both psychologicly and physichly.

    I am also always doing my best to give without making others feel the slightest bit guilty if they don’t give anything in return. I give completely without an agenda. There is REALLY NO abuser in me what so ever.

      1. amiannLuna

        But everything else in my chart seem to go hand in hand. I can’t see why one little asteroid would be placed completely wrong? From your description that asteroid would make me an abuser – but everything else in my chart is saying the opposite and they alls stand together. Don’t you think at all that the asteroids placement next to the moon is only saying that one has been abused – noting else?

        1. amiannamiann Post author

          EVERYTHING in the chart matters, Friend. God made you and your chart is your blueprint. You can’t throw anything away because you “don’t like it”. That being said, one must balance out things which appear opposite, as yours do. They are not really opposite. They contribute to the whole you. One must just incorporate everything into the final picture.

  11. amiannLuna

    Oh, I found now that Dejanira square Pluto with only half a degree (Pluto in 4th house, Libra).

    But looking to other responses you have on here, can it be that Nessus can be both? I mean both the abuser and the one that really would never even consider abusing? Or simply that it means one was abused in early life? Cause people who have been abuse usually turn out to be extra kind OR they become abusers themselves. I was abused psychologicly as a child… and still by most everyone. Even so, I am still stupid enough to continue being nice to everyone(!).

  12. amiannantipodes

    …my Nessus is exactly conjunct my midheaven in Cancer, but I’m not interested in abusing anyone. Abuse is the opposite of what I want in my life. I try to be very respectful of the humanity of other people, because I know that’s how I would like people to treat me. I think it’s always better to leave behind something positive, even if other people are trying to bring negative. Not saying I’m perfect or anything, I definitely have my weaknesses and vulnerabilities, but that’s part of why I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to abuse me or vice versa. So why is it on my midheaven?

    My Dejanira is conjunct mean BML in the 12th, a few degrees away from true BML pluto ascendant (libra), if that’s relevant.

        1. amiannamiann Post author

          Well, Libra Moon is not a tender Moon. It is called the Courtesan’s Moon because it can separate it’s emotions from it’s reason. IOW, it can be cold and make cold plans lol.

  13. amiannMandy

    I’m a woman, and I am sort of infatuated with a man who has his North Node in 5 deg Sagittarius, conjunct my Dejanira in 5 deg Sagittarius. My father was emotionally abusive and I never felt safe around him; this man gives a similar vibe; I know deep down that this attraction is creepy and unhealthy, but it’s so hard to resist.

    it’s weird because my Dejanira is not exactly prominent..or maybe it is? Depends on the orbs allowed for aspects, I guess. It’s square my Mercury and North Node in 3 and 4 degrees Pisces, respectively, and opposite my Moon in 29 Taurus, and opposite my Mars and Jupiter, both of which are in 0 Gemini.
    I think I’ve had a victim mentality most of my life, so I guess these aspects must be strong enough?
    I also have Nessus in 22 Virgo, conjunct Asc in 18 Virgo, opposite Sun in 22 Pisces, and Venus in 16 Pisces. I never get the urge to abuse, maybe because I’ve felt hurt a lot, growing up, but I am very, very vengeful. I can wait years to strike back at someone for an old suffering.

    Funny enough, my arch enemy in high school, a girl I had constant “battles” with and who did me a lot of harm was also a Pisces Sun in 20 or 21 degrees. Don’t know her asteroid positions, though.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Welcome Mandy!
      Thank you for being so honest. That is one part of my website I really value, that people can be honest. When a person has a dark, creepy attraction, they cannot help it. feelings are what they are. If Your deja conjuncts his SN exact, you will bring victim hood to the relationship and probably BE the victim.

      With Nessus conj the ASC, you will want to abuse. You can’t help that either. You can come and put your whole chart up in my Forum if you want to ask more questions, my Friend!

  14. amiannKassia

    Well I have Nessus practically cj Mars and Saturn (and Betelgeuse) in Gemini in the 10th. Moon and Venus conjunct Dejanira in Pisces in 6th and square MC/Rigel. So both are pretty *weighted* in my chart. I have gone through periods of having PTSD from various occurrences in my life but when I watch how other people deal wih similar problems, I refuse to trade on my weakness and become a victim, I gather together all my strength and I say there is nothing that cannot be overcome, I prefer to take the road of an empowered Uebermensch, if that makes any sense.
    I also have Sun and Merc in the 8th in Aries, opposite Uranus in Libra, and also have Pluto in the 1st. An astrologer who saw my chart was somehow astonished by it. (??? )

  15. amiannKassia

    Within about 3 dg., which I reckon is close enough. Also what I found interesting was that my mother’s Nessus was within 3 dg. of my Sun, my father’s close by but not so close. I had a lot of problems with abuse from my mother for years, where she successfully got my father involved, although we both cottoned on to what was happening and left her. I am having counselling for alcohol problems and through this and through creativity I am doing the wotk on myself and resolving not to be the victim. It is interesting that my mother cannot cope with beings born around (my birthdate). She bought a highly intelligent breed of dog a couple of years back which she was warned was unsuited to her as she is too fond of control, this dog later turned on her as I have, many a time. In fact her Nessus would have been bang on the dog’s Sun, she had to give it away as she could not cope.
    My mother is reaching the end of her life now and is still very negative but I steel myself against her negativity and strive towards my own positive thoughts and actions. It’s worth remembering that whatever controllers try to do in their lives, people will always desert them in the end, either through jumping ship or fighting back. If you just sit there and take it you’re done for.

          1. amiannGwyn

            I did met up with a psychic/astrologer personally where I am living, she is the mother of my friend’s friend and she gave me a nice discount. She didn’t say anything about the dejanira and sun conjunctions. But she told me that the relationship can be a long term relationship but there is someone much more suitable that will come to my life. Although she did told me too, that if there is no guy on the horizon, then my current boyfriend(fiancee now) can be suitable for me.

          1. amiannamiann Post author

            It depends on the rest of the chart. There are many factors to come up with a conclusion like that or an opinion because it is an opinion. It takes me 5-6 days to do a synastry so I could not give a quick opinion, here, Gwyn dear.

  16. amiannGood

    Well um…forewarned is forearmed, but to be honest I’d worry about problems if and when they come up in your marriage and tackle them then. I don’t know why, but a lot of problems seem to arise from fear, or from sharing the abuse one has suffered? And if we fear things we can end up acting the stuff out we fear.
    I’d take a really good look inside yourself and ask yourself how you genuinely *feel* about this guy. Yes past events can be confirmed by astrology but what is motivating you to consult astrology, do you have reservations? How the person genuinely makes you feel is most important, ie are they patient, impatient, trustworthy or have they something insincere about them that you can’t put your finger on, are they too nice for their own good? Also , what of the situation in which your relationship plays out?? Do you have a feeling of having experienced this same type of person before??
    Etc., etc.

  17. amiannScarlet

    Good day Ami.

    This man’s Nessus conjunct my Pluto by 1 degree, Saturn at 2 degrees and square my MC by 2 degree also his Dejanira conjunct my Chiron at 3 degrees.
    And as for me, my Nessus opposition his Chiron at 4 degree, does that mean we will abuse each other physically or emotionally?

    His south node conjunct my sun at 1 degree and my moon square his north node at 1 degree. Do you think there is karmic link between us?

    Thank you for your kind reply πŸ™‚

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Scarlet!

      I don’t believe in karma, in terms of past lives, as I am a Bible believer and we believe once born and once to die. However, I would think this would be an abusive relationship and I don’t think it would last, either. I see it as short term. That is my opinion, anyway, my Friend. Please, tell me the story.

  18. amiannfotoula

    Dear Ami,I have an off-on relationship with a guy I met online.We have a big age difference.In our synastry,his Nessus (conj.with his Mars natally)is conjunct my Venus by 1deg and my Dejaneera is conj.with his NN (which is also my NN,just 4deg away).What’s more his eros is 5deg away from conjuncting my Psyche.No abuse yet,just long hurt silence when we fight and a burning longing to be together again when we part.Any comments from your enlightening mind?Thank you!

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Welcome, F! Well, with asteroids, the orb is small. I go up to 3 degrees in a conjunction but that is far. The Deja/venus is powerful. I would have to see the whole chart and you can put it on my Forum and I will be delighted to look, my Friend. Have you met him yet?

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Nervous! I can relate!

      Well, i can’t tell you to run and I bet you would not anyway because I bet you are obsessed lol Just watch it and see what happens, my Friend

  19. amiannseeker

    Hi, I have a question. What does it mean to dejanira conjunct Neptune in the 3rd house double whammy in synastry. I saw on one of your post that it meant abuse, but what kind of abuse?

  20. amiannSerah

    Thanks for this thread. I just learned about Nessus — I have it conjunct my NN and also my Moon. I can’t think of anyone in my life who would say that I was an abuser, either physically or emotionally. All this is placed in Gemini in the 11th house, so maybe I would be considered a mental abuser to friends and organizations? Hmm. This is sad and I will have to consider what it may mean for my life, love, and work.

    Since childhood, I have been constantly approached by men for sex and marriage, often in ways that would be considered inappropriate, immoral, or abusive. #YesAllWomen. I do not have a model’s body or DDs either! I have learned to get away by using humor, my intellect or just physically getting out of the area. I will post my chart in your forum.

  21. amianndnt knw nessus but

    I am not sure abt my nessus placement, but I get a heavy kick out of seeing my romantic partners cry..**I don’t know why but I love to see you cry**
    as far as physical abuse goes I doubt I could do such a thing. ..however I prefer when my lover resists me I won’t mind that soft dominatrix love making but within the whips and cuffing. and I am a compulsive cheater been with one person for 10yrs with intense emotional affairs in between. . women are my weakness I am female though πŸ˜‰

  22. amiannMorgana

    Hi Amiann,

    This man’s Nessus conjunct my Saturn in Leo in the 7th house.
    I have a hard time trying to figure this out. Nesus is abusive but then again, Saturn is restriction and blockage. Does this means Saturn will restrict or block Nessus from being abusive, or not even close?

    Thank you!

  23. amiannG


    Just checked a synastry chart with someone I met 2 months ago & have beck me very close emotionally very fast. We have a lot of good aspects like sun trine moon, sun sextile monk, sun trine venus and other soft aspects, my Eros is opposite his psyche etc but I just noticed his nessus conjuncts my mars.
    My dejanira is about 5 degs away from his moon if it counts.
    Does it mean he would abuse me? Not sure what to think..& if I should pursue the relationship..

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I think he may or YOU may. With Mars, it is an active planet, unlike Venus, in which I would say that HE would abuse you. With Mars, I think he would, in my opinion, but you would, probably fight back. This is my opinion on one question xx

  24. amiannMary J

    Just met a guy who has Nessus conjunct his Moon (2Β°) and Dejanira conjuncts his Sun (1Β°). Both are strong.
    He seems really nice and patient. I was thinking that these aspects could be palying out (only?) in his job and everyday life in the military, he is a marine commando (rough job).
    My MC and Pluto are conjunct his Sun/Dejanira.
    So far I get a good vibe, I wonder what should I watch out for? o.o

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      It is early in the relationship. You may be more powerful than he, but i would have to look at the whole chart to say and with Nessus conj the Moon, he could jump out from under the bed, so to speak :/

  25. amiannnimi

    What if a man’s Nessus is conjunct a woman’s descendant? is the impact of abuse not as strong or just as bad!

    Would a woman’s Nessus conjunct a man’s sun mean she would abuse him in someway?
    And if a mans Nessus conjunct a woman’s dejanira mean bad news all together?

    Do any of the bad Nessus aspects between two people get cancelled out if a man’s dejanira conjuncts a woman’s venus and mercury.
    Thank you

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      That is a lot. let me answer two. Nessus conj the Sun IS bad, in my opinion.

      A man’s nessus conj a woman’s deja is bad, too.

      Yes, if the man’s Deja conj the woman’s venus, that would be SOME cancellation but not that much because venus and mercury are not super “strong/aggressive/assertive planets like the Sun, Mars or Pluto, in which case, there would be a cancellation.

      Hope that is some help, my Friend

      1. amianncatlover

        Thank you! Well my Nessus is conjunct the guy’s sun but I am not into abusing people. Although I do get that he is trying to be manipulative towards me but its not working.
        His Nessus is conjunct my dejanira so that concerns me so perhaps I just avoid becoming friends with him or anything.

  26. amiannfixedTsquare

    As always, thank you for your astrological insights! Can you please tell me if Venus conjunct Dejanira would be bad in synastry? I have this as a close-orb DW with someone (meaning my venus cnj their dejanira, and their venus cnj my dejanira).

    Thank you for your time!

  27. amiannfixedTsquare

    As always, thank you for your astrological insights! Can you please tell me if Venus conjunct Dejanira would be bad in synastry? I have this as a close-orb DW with someone (meaning my venus cnj their dejanira, and their venus cnj my dejanira).

    Thank you for your time!

    (Sorry for this double post, but I forget to check the box for notification on follow up comments)

  28. amiannAC

    I think I’m in such friendship. we are not yet together,,,too many obstacles

    His Nessus conjucnt my vertex 0 degree, opposition my Sun 1 degree.
    His Dejanira is conjucnt my NN 1 degree which is double whammy becuase my Dejanira is also conjunct his NN 1 degree.
    I recently I found out that his Moon may conjunct my Nessus and Nemesis 1-3 degree (I don’t know his exact birth time).

    We both say the same…we cannot live without each other. Since I first saw him I thought this is going to be something was so intensive.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Nessus conj Vertex–he will bring you abuse. Deja conj NN. He will bring the theme of the victim to the relationship. These alone would make me run but Moon conj Nessus and Nemesis is insane. Remember, these asteroids have to be very close(1-3 degrees)

      1. amiannAC

        6 months later I’m still getting over this relationship, we ended up twice together, both time the relationship didn’t last longer than a month. Now we are trying to make it into friendship…its hard to say goodbye..but I think this is the only way to truly forget.
        Apart from close aspect with Nessus, Nemesis and Dejanira. His Chiron conjunct my NN – he pulled the strings from the beginning, showing my vulnerabilities. “for my own good” so I can work on them… I knew from the begining this was not right how I felt with him…but this didn’t stop me.

        His mars conjunct my moon…and opposition my mars and venus in fiery aries. I think this made our arguments so heated. Mars conjunct moon is a NO too.

        Finally his Angel is on my ASC so I guess he seemed like an angel to me…anyway.

        I will never ever get into such relationship. I will say bye before it even begins.

  29. amiannLou

    Well, shocked to find out in synastry. My Nessus (mine!!) conjunct his dejanira :O . EErr will I abuse him?? haha oh God. Then his Nessus and Nemesis conjunct my Mercury (he will insult me after the abuse?). And my Child is conjunct his Mars. DonΒ΄t like this one at all….

        1. amiannSonja

          Lou what happened we wanna know…
          I have Nessus conj Dejinara by 2 minutes.. 0degree 2 minutes

          And Nessus conj vertex by 4 degree

          Dejinara conj Pluto and Asc

  30. amiannMay Jane

    Hello, XOXO! I’ve loved your columns! Thanks a lot πŸ™‚
    I have one question that all his Nessus and Deja are in my 7th house in synastry. Well.. This means I could suffer sexual abuse from him? I was so shocked to discover this. And even it’s so scaring that the nessus is in 8th house and his Deja in 7th house in his natal. Should I leave him? I’m waiting for your frank opinion..T.T

    With heart ❀️

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      THank you May Jane and Welcome! NO, this is not enough to base a
      decision to leave. If his Nessus conj your Moon, I would leave or if it conjunct your Sun or NN, MC, DSC or IC, I would leave but not house placements. xoxo

      1. amiannMay Jane

        Oh.. THANKS πŸ’• I’m so relieved to know your thought! I was really scared for hours. Then, his nessus in 8th house is all right? From what I read, it was a very dangerous thing.. To be frank, I’m not sure who he is. T.T

  31. amiannRami

    I have Deja conjunct my Sun in Cancer. My partner’s Sun conjunct my Dejanira. We’ve been together for 13 years. Pretty peaceful relationship.
    But, sometimes I feel victimised but not necessarily by him.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      I am glad he is not really victimizing you. The rest of the chart would show why. There is prolly a lot of heart and soul in the relationship, such as Moon trine Moon.

      1. amiannRami

        Thank you for replying to my comment, Ami. Unfortunatelly, we don’t have the magical Moon aspect but we do, indeed have other “glue” aspects in our synastry.
        I love your site. πŸ™‚

  32. amiannLaura

    Thank you for this article, Ami!

    No pressure to respond, but if you have a minute, I was wondering if you know anything about draconic astrology? My boyfriend’s draconic Nessus is conjunct my draconic moon, should I be concerned about this?

    Also, are Nessus trines and sextiles in synastry as bad as Nessus conjunctions?

    Thanks again <3

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Hi Laura and Welcome!

      I don’t do draconic. I think one should stick with the natal and as is. I would not worry about the Draconic if it were me.

  33. amiannKathleen

    I have this with someone, he has his Venus conjunct my Dejinira (in my 1st house right near my ascendant actually), His retrograde Nessus conjunct my North Node by about 3 degrees. His Dejanira conjunct my Jupiter. And last but not least my Nessus conjunct his Saturn!! All of these conjunctions are exact accept for the Nessus NN, which is still a pretty tight orb. Would love to hear insight on it. We definitely have a past life connection.

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      Nessus abuses Dejanira and Dejanira “wants” to be abused. I know this sounds bad but it is energies not judgements on people, if you know what I mean. There is super, super attraction for both people but, in time, it will turn bad. Even if they stay together, it does not feel good.

  34. amiannCj

    Hi I m just tuning in to Nessus as uranus approaches my Nessus mercury square moon and pluto. About 5 yrs ago I found radiant spirit after yrs of yoga work, so i believe. But scandel has come regardless. Saturn pluto. Gossip. Suspicions. Abuse. I m on the lower end so I can t defend myself well. Anyways, i feel its adulting me. Its too insane to go into. But I will take another review as uranus awakens me. All i can say is big time suffering as it hits me from below as Dylan says when too late cause i ve found it above. Go away.
    Stop the world i wanna get off.

  35. amiannCharlotte

    Thank you for your kind response. I don’t know what that means but a few years ago i was intrigued because i met 3 or 4 people who had encounters with Jesus and each one had exactly! the same
    intonation and look of awe. I look forward. I m stalling right now as i feel lost. Don’t know if your familiar with yoga s. Trying to sort things out i noticed that the highest is King is Raja. I didn’t realize the experience i had of standing up from bed to go to bible class i felt like just a channel. That apparently is the goal of Raja yoga. But i don’t know if its a visitation at first or much about it. I just know the Lords Prayer says though will be done on earth as is in heaven and i figure that needs a channel. Right now though there s this distracting world tension. In one way i resist the idea of being just a channel as it seems life as i ve known it would be gone forever.

  36. amiannMel

    Hello πŸ‘‹ . My dejanira (24` 53′ β™Ž ) conjunct his nessus (26Β° 38′ β™Ž ). I am really curious about this and I couldn’t find anything in google. I would be grateful if you answerβ™‘

    1. amiannMel

      And I forgot to write these. my nessus (β™‘ 9Β° 52′), my ceres (β™‘ 9Β° 10′), his north node (β™‘ 9Β° 25′), his ceres (β™‘ 11Β° 28′). In my 5th house, Δ±n his 2th house.

  37. amiannSilvia

    Dejanira is conjunct my 5th house Venus. Before I knew this aspect I felt the pain of knowing that I had the worst love life. All dating has been a disaster. The moment I start to feel in love and believe that I finally found someone who understands me and that they may actually be the one….they suddenly flip on me, shock me with insults and grudges that they were holding in and abruptly leave. It literally gives me a pain in my heart, and I feel embarrassed when friends ask, “So, how’s the love life going??” Although after the heart break, i put a ton of focus in my career and my business goes very well, yet I always wish it was rather the other way around.

  38. amiannMia

    A male friend has his Nessus exactly square my female Venus…

    And also his Sado conjunct my Moon.
    Sometimes he laughs at me when I hurt myself or he is very gruesome to me. He says he is only joking… but.. Sado conjunct Moon… need I say more???

    I began wondering how far I should go with this relationship…
    First thing that I found out about is his Saturn opposing my Mars exactly.
    I don’t think it is that good..

    But nack to my question… what about Nessus square Venus..?

    I sometimes feel anxious next to him as if there is a invisible threat.. I have no other words to describe and my gut feeling tells me .. wait.. don’t go further.. remain friends … and do not become Lovers..

      1. amiannMis

        …Thank you Ami

        Maybe you’re right…

        But what about his Nessus conjunct his Moon in the natal chart?

        Does it make him a possible abuser?

        He has a very difficult relationship with his mother..

  39. amiannNari

    If a man has nessus conjunct a womans descendant what way will he abusive? I am not sure what the descendant means in this dynamic.

  40. amiannWiejanda Vogelzang

    His Nessus in Cancer trines my Dejanira in Pisces with 2 degrees. Is that too wide for asteroids or would it still count? His isn’t prominent, mine is (conjunct Mercury).

  41. amiannsira

    Hi! When I was 15-17 years old I had a really good friend, who later took advantage of me (I like to help people and helped her in her mentally abusive realtionship), lied to me etc. She just, she did not care as much about me as I did about her… Now that I am starting to go into asteroid astrology, I looked at our synastry and: Her Dejanira conjuncts my Sun, her Nemesis my MC, and her BML my IC. My mars is exactly conjunct her Moon and her Mars conjunct my Chiron/SN/AV. What emotions did that cause?? Big thanks in advance πŸ™‚

  42. amiannGail

    Our lives were turned upside down when I fell in love with a man married 20 yrs. Wife dejanera conj my NN. Her nessus conj my venus. His pluto conj moon conjuncted my (mars conj saturn) trine my moon & trine my lilith.
    He left her, we lived together. We made each other life hell.
    He is now is spirit & we are still growing. He is waiting for me so we again can be together in our next life.

  43. amiannAmber

    I have an interesting Nessus/Dejanira relationship. Could you help me understand please? My 6th house Dejanira/Pluto in Scorpio are trine his 12th house Nessus in Cancer, and squaring his 1st house Saturn in Leo. How might this play out with the Nessus/Deja trine and Deja-Pluto/Saturn square? Also, my Compassion is conjunct his Nessus in Cancer – would this be showing compassion towards my abuser, or…….???? Thank you!!!

  44. amiannAnonymous

    His Nessus conjunct my mars at 2 degrees. His Pluto square my mars at 2 degrees. His Lilith square my mars at 2 degrees. His Chiron trine my mars exact. Do you think he could be abusive To me?
    Also my deja is conjunct his Pluto at 6 degrees but I’m not counting that.

  45. amiannR

    Hey! I have a question. When looking at synastry, do you look to the signs that the planets/asteroids are in, or do you look to the houses? Because I would think it would be one or the other, because then people with different ascendants wouldn’t be able to do synastry.

  46. amiannKara

    I looked in our synastry and found that my Nessus conjuncts his Dejanira. Also, my nessus conjunct his Venus, and his Nessus conjunct my jupiter. How does it play?

  47. amiannKatz Jo

    I googled obsession in synastry because there is a celebrity that I am obsessed with and I couldn’t figure out what it was in the charts that was making me so obsessed.. So it looks like I have my dejanira opposite his nessus. Lol. I guess you are correct.

  48. amiannKatz jo

    I commented here last night and today I remembered a movie I was obsessed with as a kid, so I thought I would look up the chart for the movie, and its nessus is conjunct my dejanira. πŸ˜‚ It works with movie obsessions too πŸ˜‚

    1. amiannamiann Post author

      YES When I am attracted to people I don’t know and it is really bad, I will find Nessus usually. Good call!I was super attracted to a make up artist who was gay–a U tube guy. His Nessus conjunct my MC

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