I am writing this for two groups. One is the guy who tries to be the nice guy and loses the girl to the bad boy. The other is the girl who falls for the bad guy, while crying on the shoulder of the good guy People are complicated. Therein lies the rub. Let me see if I can open myself up enough( i.e. expose myself ) to tackle this subject. *Sigh*
I am very passionate about truth. That is because lies will kill you. If you see someone who is dying from his emotional problems, the simple truth would heal him. However, he is armored with defenses that make his accepting of it, impossible. That is what therapy is designed to accomplish, but it does so, poorly. First of all, most therapists are impotent, in my experience. Second, the person has an arsenal of defenses built up, which it would take a great deal of emotional work to release. Most therapists go at this in a left brain way, which engages the logical side of the brain. This will never work, as the emotional side of the brain must release and reorganize itself. Talk therapy will not help if one spends a lifetime on it.
I digress from my subject of why girls like bad boys. However, it is not a complete digression as the root lies in the girl’s sense of self. However, I think all girls have a warped sense of self. The degree would change in various individuals, but the warped sense of self exists in all of us.
Back, again, to girls and bad boys. All woman are attracted to the bad boy, in varying degrees. I think it is because we, all, know we are bad, at the core. Society dresses us up with social graces, but inside we know what we are. The nice guy will not show us who we are. The bad boy knows. We know he knows. That is what becomes the perfect marriage, so to speak.
The bad boy allows us to be who we are: bad. He allows us to experience our “bad” passions, which are really not bad, such socially taboo.
Usually, the bad boy does not follow social mores. That allows the good girl to cast them off when she is with him, in a way she cannot do without him.
Last but not least, the bad boy feels like your abusive past, if you had one. He feels like home. He feels like coming home. If you have not had an abusive past, you still have been wounded by life and have a part of youself which feels unworthy. With the bad boy, you can let it show. He knows you have it. You can be free, wild and primal. Maybe, that is what we all want( and crave)
I like this topic….i love seeing the deepest darkest parts of ppl not because i want them to be bad but because i want them to be real, and i know if you dont release the bad and let it flow it cant flow through you and eventually out of you….instead it gets damned up inside and eats away at our souls! So i applaud those with the courage to show their dark side, the bad, the taboo your afraid to expose! I know underneath it, theres a soft soul just dying to be freed of the burden of pain of judgement, its what keeps us in denial of our true selves! Being half hearted leaves you somewhat damaged and growing a bit colder and a little more bitter everyday!!! I appreciate the truth in your words….Thanks!
its insane all my politeness appreciation adorance for girls ends here i never knew my biggest problem was being so good and polite to others which has taken me so much away from girls sexually that virtually i have lost my interest in them i never knew thanks for waking me up everywhere india or us no one cares about emotions respect manners etc i wont any more….. why did my parents and teachers taught me to do so stll dont get it may be to make me the odd one out and they are successful i barely have frnds and they barely respect my attitude towards life its a living hell for me sorry ami theres no where else and no one else where i can open up i dont like it what god sent me on earth with……………….
I will help you. I specialize in this 😀
thank u ami, required but unexpected help is so healing
Aww I know what you mean. I am the same way. On my Forum, I started a thread for you, Ab, dear.
What about nice guys? What hope do they have?
I used to be a nice guy. I would have given or done anything just to have a woman’s attention for a few minutes. I got tired of being ignored and rejected. Now I look at women with bitterness, with spite and contempt. I laugh at the women who slept around with bad boys and got dumped; now they have children to care for, no home of their own, a mediocre job to support themselves with, and no one wants them.
I hear you,BB. That is why I wrote the article. I like to say things, as they are. I hate all the political correctness in current society. I get hammered for my views, but that is why I have my own website. Come and join my Forum, as I have a thread up about this subject to Ab, who asked the same thing. To give the short answer, human nature is not pretty. We have to work with “what is”, not how we want to be. In Heaven it will be how we want it to be! xx
Women like “Bad Boys” because they are hypocritical bullshit artists…Despite what popular culture tries to trick you into believing….women are no more moral/altruistic/kind etc than men are….The reason men commit so much more crime than women is not because men are somehow more evil or less moral….it’s because men actually have the balls and courage and will take the risks associated in committing a crime…A women would never take the risk that is associated with robbing a bank (with a few exceptions) they would never have the balls to attempt something so brazen like that but, that doesn’t mean they are somehow more moral….They aren’t despite the bullshit front the put on because they think it’s what society expects of them (which is what you alluded to)
And that’s not to say that I dislike women (I don’t dislike women at all) I’m just not a naive idiot who thinks women are somehow more moral/worthy when all the evidence indicates they aren’t….
Women seem to be wondering why men are so less chivalrous towards women nowadays than they were in the past (“Where did all the gentlemen go blah blah blah) and the answer is simple…Feminism has unleashed the true nature of women (aka their true nature/behavior isn’t restricted like it was in the 1950’s) and men have begun to see what women are really about (aka they are just as fucked up as men). Men are starting to realize that women are really not worth saving and putting there life in danger for…Why would you die for/put your life in danger for something thats just as fucked up as you are??? If I’m going to be chivalrous/risking my life for someone it’s going to be someone whose innocent/good natured and needs to be protected and saved at all costs (aka a child) not some chick who is just as fucked up as I am…She can save her own ass.
So if I’m sitting in that movie theater and that batman guy comes in ready to kill everyone in site….I’m saving my BLOOD and only my blood(aka my kids or family)….plus any non blood related child that I see near me and can help save….But would I give my life up for some chick or my girlfriend…Nah not worth it….they aren’t worth dieing for/pedestalizing (because giving up your life to save another really is pedestalizing)
And thats why chivalry is pretty much completely nonexistent nowadays….And it has nothing to do with men being less “manly” or more cowardly than they were in the past….It’s because the true nature of women has been unleashed.
Hmm
I will need to study what you said.
Pretty easy to understand…The reality is that women are just as messed up/selfish/shallow as men are…They aren’t more “morally superior” or more “compassionate” or any of that stuff than men….They just pretend like they are because they think it’s what society expect of them. Women are basically less honest versions of men.
Now like I said I don’t hate women at all (because hate would imply that I think women are worse/less moral than men and I don’t think that….I just think they are the same as men) but I don’t feel the need to be chivalrous to them either…..And as you’ve surely noticed more and more men are thinking the same way….It’s not because men have become more cowardly or less manly….it’s because men are finally seeing the true nature of women that feminism has unleashed…and most don’t think it’s worth dieing to protect something just as selfish as they are.
So when that crazed sexually frustrated virgin gunman barges into the movie theater/school intent on killing everyone in site….I will not be giving up my life for anyone unless it’s my blood (family, Child etc) or another child that I see nearby….If it’s me and my girlfriend at the theater….well sorry but my safety is my only priority….No women is worth dieing for or putting my life in unnecessary risks for….A child is a completely different story.