This is a million dollar question. I have asked it a million times. I bet you have, too. I write about my experience, only. I hate platitudes. I have been fed so many that I choke on them. With that being said, I am going to lay myself bare.
I lost my self esteem as a teen. I threw away my reality. I took on the reality of my narcissist mother. I had to. One’s defense mechanisms make unconscious decisions, so one will not die. If you did the same thing, your body and mind made similar decisions. God does this to preserve the life of the person.
However, when one grows up, one is some form of mutant. That is what I am going to address now–the mutation of having low self esteem.
If you have low self esteem , this is not the normal state for the human. It was imposed by your environment. This brings me to the all important question of how to get rid of low self esteem and get high self esteem.
I will relate an incident I had in which I raised my self esteem. Prior to this incident, I had raised my self esteem to such a degree that I realized some people are out to hurt you and you have every right to protect yourself. Furthermore, there are some people who are not to be trusted if they appear to offer you a peace offering. This one fact has taken me a long time to accept. I have an Unaspected Cancer moon conjunct the MC. This translates to a childlike trust and openness. Picture Micheal Jackson *Sigh*
At any rate, people would pummel me and then put out their hand and I would accept it. This is foolishness, quite frankly. I learned from people pummeling me, again and again. I needed to trust my gut. If a wolf is trying to look like a sheep, my gut will feel it. NEVER VIOLATE YOUR GUT, but that is a different subject.
Back to my topic, I have a wolf who tries to violate me, on a continual basis. It took me long enough not to fall for it, but I finally learned. This last time, I would not take the bait. The wolf started to fall into the trap she set for me( Think Haman on the gallows he built for Mordechai)
The point of this story is that I had enough self love to trust myself, in the first place. Secondly, I would not accept abuse. Thirdly, and most importantly, I do not think I DESERVE abuse. I believe this because God died for me. I am that important and special . YOU ARE TOO!