I honestly think I know of my problem is that I realise haven’t lived enough of my life to make a big commitment.I need to go out and see the world and decide what I want to do.I want to get away from my mother and live by myself.Really focus on a career if I can figure out what to do with myself.I have lived such a sheltered life.I need to have a few more love affairs or at least one great relationship even though im not supposed to want that.I know what the bible says and the consequences are but It would really kill me if I never felt like just once I really had it all. I would feel really dead inside and bitter.Even if my feelings are wrong once I commit i really am devoted.Even when I die Id rather just say look I couldn’t leave that person behind Id even take a bullet for that person.I guess im perhaps feeling a bit more confident maybe thats Why I feel like this.I know the bible does teach people and so do other people but I keep feeling like I’ll find my own way without it.Even though I have a loaded 3rd and 9th sometimes words just seem dull perhaps Ive just become really bored with words and the things we say and are taught.If I did become a good Christian the rest of the world would hate me.If I didn’t become a good Christian Id still be hated and trapped.I always daydream that I become successful but my private ,social and even family life falls apart and everybody hates me.Although at the same everybody hates me if they think im weak or a failure.Sometimes I daydream that In the future I start to look after other people and become like a rock to lean on.I help them but I feel slightly dead inside or like im falling to bits.Its probably due to my air void that I can’t express my feelings.I hate when those scenarios pop into my head.I get loads of crazy scenarios.Sometimes I become like some infamous idol and eventually get killed.Sometimes Im not really good or bad but at the very last minute I always make the right choice or do something that makes things right or sacrifice myself.I am probably delusional either that I really will make something of myself and help others and help make them happy and watch their joy while im never happy.
Aww It is weird that I wished I was sheltered and doted on. I wished I had a mother like you describe CM. Well, God wants you to have a better life than you could think of or devise on your own!
Your probably right.Its great that I have good mother and I know its great I just don’t to be overdependant and I don’t want us to stuck together Gradually resenting each other feeling like we are weighing the other one down.When I get on my feet I will look after her if she needs it and help when she gets older like when she looked after.Its I need to be able to improve myself otherwise I won’t be able to help anyone.I have funny feeling things may be changing for the better so maybe.I will sort a few things out first and then I will be to focus more on my soul.I think I will reach were im ready to do that.Thanks for your advice Ami <3
Dear Ami,
If a person posts here using a different E-mail adress then he ordinarly does,
does the site omit the posting? Do you see the posting?
Yesterday, before I came on the site, I was posting on other sites under another
E-mail adress. I had forgotten to switch over to my regular E-mail adress.
I don’t know if you saw my posts from the other day. I used my regular name,
but posted from another E-mail adress. I don’t know if I am using the proper
terminology. I will see whether my posts of yesterday got through.
I continue to ask you to notify me if I have insulted you in anyway. With my lousy
placements people DO take unintended offense at the things I say!
RE Catman:
I know little of your home situation. Is it just you and your mother?
Are you employed? What is the state of your social life?
I thought that Ireland was different then America. Here, we have what are known
as “slackers.” They are twenty-something people who haven’t decided what to do
with their lives. Do you have Neptune square or opposite your Sun?
They want to be “stars,” and it seems so easy when you see the completed
project, but it requires hard and often unpleasent work.
Are you handsome, or subpar looking? Don’t go by your own depressed opinion.
Go by other’s opinions. But NOT your mother’s.
We all love our mothers. It is almost considered sacreligious NOT to! They
provide us, or sometimes fail to provide us with things ONLY they can.
There was a famous song called “It Spells M.O.T.H.E.R.” The relationship
that we have with our mother’s is arguably the second most important
relationship after Christ Jesus. When a person has a fearsome or tramatic
event in their lives, they often cry for their mothers. The state of the mothers
mental health can’t help but affect the child’s. Think Casey Anthony, for example.
I don’t want to ruffle feathers, but there’s no co-dependant issues here are
there? Be thankful that your Moon is in Virgo. Ami and I both have our Moons
in Cancer. No person with the Moon in Cancer has a “normal” relationship with
thier mother! Either It’s the “good” SMOTHERING kind, or the “bad” cruel kind.
And most NEVER get over it.
It may sound harsh Catman. And you may need some counciling to do it,
but you’ve got to end these dependant ties while you can, while your reasonablely
young. If not you’ll find yourself old, alone and unloved.
I don’t have Neptune opposed the Sun.I have Retrograde Neptune In Capricorn 12’38 in the 3rd House opposing Venus Cancer 7’41 in the 9th which rules my 1st,8th and 12th house.Neptune trines my Mars Taurus 9’11 in the 7th house.Retrograde Capricorn Uranus 6’33 and Retrograde Saturn Capricorn 21’9 also occupies my 3rd house.Uranus opposes Venus and trines Mars.
I have no real desire to become a star.I just want to be me and I wish everybody else would realise that and stop comparing themselves or others to me and stop looking their noses down at me and judging me.I don’t care how successful they or what they have or if they are better than me in a particular area for e.g They are physically stronger than me.If they try to take my humanity from me and make me feel subhuman then I probably like I want to drop a nuke on them.
Every country has slackers Lon.I still am drifting.The fact that I failed at school and some other setbacks haven’t helped.Plus sometimes being a recluse at heart who is wired to the moon doesn’t help matters.
I think im nothing special.Others have told me there is nothing wrong with the way I look.Someone recently said stunning but I don’t believe that.
I like my mother as I’ve said but I do feel wayed down by her.She was always kind of stuffy and strict at times.I find her controlling.I felt really out of place as a child.The outside world stressed me out and she unintentionally stressed me out more.I guess I feel like im battling the world and her at the same time.I still feel out of place.I guess I love and hate her at the same time but the thing is im like that with everybody.Perhaps I hate to be dependant on anyone.I probably hate not making as much progress as everyone else.I wish I could go back in time and punish everyone that made me feel stupid or laughed at me.Even though she was there for during bad periods of mental health I sometimes still have a habit of viewing her as an enemy like I do with other people including friends and other family members.
Dear Catman,
I’m very simular to you, but different as well. With Neptune in the 3rd
I simpily could NEVER concentrate in school, or accept the “reality”
of having to attend school. The people sensed my discomfort and give me
hell for it. I very rarely had any “good days” in school for 13 years I attended,
and when I very briefly returned years later. To put it simply, people laughed
at me. It’s easy to say, “Suck it up, roll with the punches,” but I’m to
sensative for that! I could NEVER spend the lions share of my time with people
who detest me, and treat me like a baby killer, simpily because I have Pluto
in the first house, opposite Mars in the 7th. And Venus square Saturn!
Why didn’t they just kill me when I was born, and save the “afterbirth,” as one of
my many tormentors asked.
I’m sure your mother loves you, and wants ONLY the best for you! You get only
one mother, so you should be greatful for her while you have her.
Forget about “going back in time, being bitter, and trying to get pay back for all
the cruel things people did in the past. It’s a total waste of energy. Those folks
are just as misreable in their own way as you are!
But you DO have to realize that you are fighting for what is left of your life.
You are 20 and SEEM to have a long live yet to live. But beware, time has a way
of picking up momentum as you get older. It’s later then you think.
Nobody listens to me! I can’t say I blame them because I AM A NOTHING, A BIG
FAT FAILURE that is soon to leave this world, but I can say that Christ’s
strength is made PERFECT in weakness. It’s the only area I know in this world
where weakness is an advantage! You have to be an empty vessal to be filled by
God.
Problem is, there IS a LOT of hypocrasy in the “church.” A lot of differences
of opinion about what is “right.”
Ami, for example, swears by Steve Haglin. I don’t know if she’s ever
attempted to communicate with him. Do you think for one minute he would
approve of this blog? He would say to her: “Get with the PROGRAM or go to a
neverending hell.”
She never says it; but this has to be something of a crux and a delimma for her.
On the one hand, her inner voice says: “Study Astrology!” On the other hand
Hagan and his crew say: “Astrology is of the Devil!”
“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” It’s Hagan, or it’s the “inner voice.”
Which is it Ami?
Kenneth Hagin has passed on. He would think I was wrong but people have been saved who met me through this blog and would not have otherwise so he can’t argue with that. Lon, dear. Get the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It is amazing. I am gonna do a Book Club entry on it.
Well, Hagan isn’t the only evangelical that would hold that position.
I’ myself, am completely comfortable with a divergence of opinion.
I can agree that Casey Anthony IS a murderer and LOVE her nonetheless.
This is the capability that All Mighty God gives us: Hate the sin, but love the
sinner!
When we want God to heal us, we should petition God with the words
MERCY and PITY. We are HELPLESS in the face of God! There’s absolutely
NOTHING we can do on our own.
We THINK it is US doing EVERYTHING for ourselves, but no, it is Him.
When the sick and destitute asked Christ for help, they used the words,
“Have MERCY on me Son of Man!” They pleaded specifically for MERCY!
Also, they asked for PITY! “Pity,” back then, didn’t have the same meaning
that it does today. It meant tender hearted concern.
Many people believe their lives should be devoid of problems and hardship.
This is NOT what God promises. He said you can OVERCOME with His help,
and that no one would be given more then they could bear.
This is a cool one. I won’t tell you what I think because it will make me look perverse 😀
I see the sliced top half of an apple,supported by, what I don’t know.
Or, an X-ray of bone cartledge.
That is cool. Lon 🙂
I see shoulders,elbows,the back,buuttocks and legs
or a beetle
Yes, that fits CM. Have you been reading the Bible at all?
Not recently
Although I just it now at a random page and had a read at 2 Timothy 4 verse 9-16.Do you think thats some sort of sign.
Yes, I believe in signs, CM. You need to find a teacher you can relate to. You can watch free on U tube, usually.
I honestly think I know of my problem is that I realise haven’t lived enough of my life to make a big commitment.I need to go out and see the world and decide what I want to do.I want to get away from my mother and live by myself.Really focus on a career if I can figure out what to do with myself.I have lived such a sheltered life.I need to have a few more love affairs or at least one great relationship even though im not supposed to want that.I know what the bible says and the consequences are but It would really kill me if I never felt like just once I really had it all. I would feel really dead inside and bitter.Even if my feelings are wrong once I commit i really am devoted.Even when I die Id rather just say look I couldn’t leave that person behind Id even take a bullet for that person.I guess im perhaps feeling a bit more confident maybe thats Why I feel like this.I know the bible does teach people and so do other people but I keep feeling like I’ll find my own way without it.Even though I have a loaded 3rd and 9th sometimes words just seem dull perhaps Ive just become really bored with words and the things we say and are taught.If I did become a good Christian the rest of the world would hate me.If I didn’t become a good Christian Id still be hated and trapped.I always daydream that I become successful but my private ,social and even family life falls apart and everybody hates me.Although at the same everybody hates me if they think im weak or a failure.Sometimes I daydream that In the future I start to look after other people and become like a rock to lean on.I help them but I feel slightly dead inside or like im falling to bits.Its probably due to my air void that I can’t express my feelings.I hate when those scenarios pop into my head.I get loads of crazy scenarios.Sometimes I become like some infamous idol and eventually get killed.Sometimes Im not really good or bad but at the very last minute I always make the right choice or do something that makes things right or sacrifice myself.I am probably delusional either that I really will make something of myself and help others and help make them happy and watch their joy while im never happy.
Aww It is weird that I wished I was sheltered and doted on. I wished I had a mother like you describe CM. Well, God wants you to have a better life than you could think of or devise on your own!
Your probably right.Its great that I have good mother and I know its great I just don’t to be overdependant and I don’t want us to stuck together Gradually resenting each other feeling like we are weighing the other one down.When I get on my feet I will look after her if she needs it and help when she gets older like when she looked after.Its I need to be able to improve myself otherwise I won’t be able to help anyone.I have funny feeling things may be changing for the better so maybe.I will sort a few things out first and then I will be to focus more on my soul.I think I will reach were im ready to do that.Thanks for your advice Ami <3
I am always here for you, CM. You don’t have to be ANYONE but just you. I love you for who you are!
A pampered poodle from behind. What does that mean?
You are a refined person 😀
Thank you for that kind comment. I don’t expect to ever hear that one again, so I am doubly appreciative.
Aww You ARE a very refined person, Alma. I won’t tell you what I saw
Dear Ami,
If a person posts here using a different E-mail adress then he ordinarly does,
does the site omit the posting? Do you see the posting?
Yesterday, before I came on the site, I was posting on other sites under another
E-mail adress. I had forgotten to switch over to my regular E-mail adress.
I don’t know if you saw my posts from the other day. I used my regular name,
but posted from another E-mail adress. I don’t know if I am using the proper
terminology. I will see whether my posts of yesterday got through.
I continue to ask you to notify me if I have insulted you in anyway. With my lousy
placements people DO take unintended offense at the things I say!
RE Catman:
I know little of your home situation. Is it just you and your mother?
Are you employed? What is the state of your social life?
I thought that Ireland was different then America. Here, we have what are known
as “slackers.” They are twenty-something people who haven’t decided what to do
with their lives. Do you have Neptune square or opposite your Sun?
They want to be “stars,” and it seems so easy when you see the completed
project, but it requires hard and often unpleasent work.
Are you handsome, or subpar looking? Don’t go by your own depressed opinion.
Go by other’s opinions. But NOT your mother’s.
We all love our mothers. It is almost considered sacreligious NOT to! They
provide us, or sometimes fail to provide us with things ONLY they can.
There was a famous song called “It Spells M.O.T.H.E.R.” The relationship
that we have with our mother’s is arguably the second most important
relationship after Christ Jesus. When a person has a fearsome or tramatic
event in their lives, they often cry for their mothers. The state of the mothers
mental health can’t help but affect the child’s. Think Casey Anthony, for example.
I don’t want to ruffle feathers, but there’s no co-dependant issues here are
there? Be thankful that your Moon is in Virgo. Ami and I both have our Moons
in Cancer. No person with the Moon in Cancer has a “normal” relationship with
thier mother! Either It’s the “good” SMOTHERING kind, or the “bad” cruel kind.
And most NEVER get over it.
It may sound harsh Catman. And you may need some counciling to do it,
but you’ve got to end these dependant ties while you can, while your reasonablely
young. If not you’ll find yourself old, alone and unloved.
I am not sure what happens when a person posts from a different e mail.
I’ll quickly try To Answer your Questions Lon.
I live with my mother.
I don’t have Neptune opposed the Sun.I have Retrograde Neptune In Capricorn 12’38 in the 3rd House opposing Venus Cancer 7’41 in the 9th which rules my 1st,8th and 12th house.Neptune trines my Mars Taurus 9’11 in the 7th house.Retrograde Capricorn Uranus 6’33 and Retrograde Saturn Capricorn 21’9 also occupies my 3rd house.Uranus opposes Venus and trines Mars.
I have no real desire to become a star.I just want to be me and I wish everybody else would realise that and stop comparing themselves or others to me and stop looking their noses down at me and judging me.I don’t care how successful they or what they have or if they are better than me in a particular area for e.g They are physically stronger than me.If they try to take my humanity from me and make me feel subhuman then I probably like I want to drop a nuke on them.
Every country has slackers Lon.I still am drifting.The fact that I failed at school and some other setbacks haven’t helped.Plus sometimes being a recluse at heart who is wired to the moon doesn’t help matters.
I think im nothing special.Others have told me there is nothing wrong with the way I look.Someone recently said stunning but I don’t believe that.
I like my mother as I’ve said but I do feel wayed down by her.She was always kind of stuffy and strict at times.I find her controlling.I felt really out of place as a child.The outside world stressed me out and she unintentionally stressed me out more.I guess I feel like im battling the world and her at the same time.I still feel out of place.I guess I love and hate her at the same time but the thing is im like that with everybody.Perhaps I hate to be dependant on anyone.I probably hate not making as much progress as everyone else.I wish I could go back in time and punish everyone that made me feel stupid or laughed at me.Even though she was there for during bad periods of mental health I sometimes still have a habit of viewing her as an enemy like I do with other people including friends and other family members.
Dear Catman,
I’m very simular to you, but different as well. With Neptune in the 3rd
I simpily could NEVER concentrate in school, or accept the “reality”
of having to attend school. The people sensed my discomfort and give me
hell for it. I very rarely had any “good days” in school for 13 years I attended,
and when I very briefly returned years later. To put it simply, people laughed
at me. It’s easy to say, “Suck it up, roll with the punches,” but I’m to
sensative for that! I could NEVER spend the lions share of my time with people
who detest me, and treat me like a baby killer, simpily because I have Pluto
in the first house, opposite Mars in the 7th. And Venus square Saturn!
Why didn’t they just kill me when I was born, and save the “afterbirth,” as one of
my many tormentors asked.
I’m sure your mother loves you, and wants ONLY the best for you! You get only
one mother, so you should be greatful for her while you have her.
Forget about “going back in time, being bitter, and trying to get pay back for all
the cruel things people did in the past. It’s a total waste of energy. Those folks
are just as misreable in their own way as you are!
But you DO have to realize that you are fighting for what is left of your life.
You are 20 and SEEM to have a long live yet to live. But beware, time has a way
of picking up momentum as you get older. It’s later then you think.
Nobody listens to me! I can’t say I blame them because I AM A NOTHING, A BIG
FAT FAILURE that is soon to leave this world, but I can say that Christ’s
strength is made PERFECT in weakness. It’s the only area I know in this world
where weakness is an advantage! You have to be an empty vessal to be filled by
God.
Problem is, there IS a LOT of hypocrasy in the “church.” A lot of differences
of opinion about what is “right.”
Ami, for example, swears by Steve Haglin. I don’t know if she’s ever
attempted to communicate with him. Do you think for one minute he would
approve of this blog? He would say to her: “Get with the PROGRAM or go to a
neverending hell.”
She never says it; but this has to be something of a crux and a delimma for her.
On the one hand, her inner voice says: “Study Astrology!” On the other hand
Hagan and his crew say: “Astrology is of the Devil!”
“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” It’s Hagan, or it’s the “inner voice.”
Which is it Ami?
Kenneth Hagin has passed on. He would think I was wrong but people have been saved who met me through this blog and would not have otherwise so he can’t argue with that. Lon, dear. Get the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It is amazing. I am gonna do a Book Club entry on it.
Well, Hagan isn’t the only evangelical that would hold that position.
I’ myself, am completely comfortable with a divergence of opinion.
I can agree that Casey Anthony IS a murderer and LOVE her nonetheless.
This is the capability that All Mighty God gives us: Hate the sin, but love the
sinner!
God must have given you a love for Casey Anthony. I have a love for a person who I should be hitting over the head with a shoe, too.
When we want God to heal us, we should petition God with the words
MERCY and PITY. We are HELPLESS in the face of God! There’s absolutely
NOTHING we can do on our own.
We THINK it is US doing EVERYTHING for ourselves, but no, it is Him.
When the sick and destitute asked Christ for help, they used the words,
“Have MERCY on me Son of Man!” They pleaded specifically for MERCY!
Also, they asked for PITY! “Pity,” back then, didn’t have the same meaning
that it does today. It meant tender hearted concern.
Many people believe their lives should be devoid of problems and hardship.
This is NOT what God promises. He said you can OVERCOME with His help,
and that no one would be given more then they could bear.
Very true, Lon dear.