Up from the ashes? *Sigh* Who wants to be in the ashes? Not I. Not you. However, one finds oneself there, through no fault of one’s own. The ashes are self hate. The ashes are self destruction. The ashes are the feeling that one is worthless to the core.
How does one come up from the ashes? That is the million dollar question. The answer begins with a hope, a simple hope. The hope is that one is, indeed, worth something. One wants it to be true, but is it too much to hope for? Could this spurned person be worth something? If you were sexually abused, you were ravaged. There is no other word for it. You were taken to a point of self revulsion. You want to destroy yourself. If not, who was to blame? Was it you?
The ravages of sexual abuse are too much for the fragile psyche. The person warps. The human psyche is fragile. It can only take so much and then it bends and warps into an ungodly shape. It is not your fault.
The climb up is the climb of champions, perhaps. It is the climb of one fingernail at a time on a mountain which seems as if it is pushing one off. It is the climb of pure will when one wants to give up. Sexual abuse takes a terrible toll on it’s victims.
How does one get up from the ashes? GOD
One must believe one is worth it. One must believe that the God who made this world died for oneself. One must grab it and hold it and never let it go, as one holds a life preserver.
For the ones who were not ravaged, maybe you cannot understand this. For the ones who were, you do.
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