This is a question an Astrologer will get. To answer it, the Astrologer may start with the sign on the Angles. I have an article on the Angles, if you don’t know what they are. There are 3 possibilities:cardinal, fixed or mutable. Cardinal is a leader. He will be the first to take action. He will jump up and put out the fire. He will not look around for another person to do it. Fixed will sit on the fence, taking his time, chewing his proverbial cud. This endows him with a certain emotional and mental stability, as he does not rush off to put out fires. He deliberates the wisdom.Mutable signs are flexible. They are not sure whether it is, actually, a fire. It could be a mirage, for all we know. The Mutable fellow would not be your choice for the Exit seat of the plane. Back to our topic, the abusive man will tend to have a Cardinal sign on the Angles, as he may take action, first and regret, later.
There are classic planetary aspects for abuse. These would be aspects for hot anger. One would be Mars square Moon. Again, any aspect INVOLVING Cardinal signs would have the same reasoning behind it i.e the aspect will have the tone of either the Cardinal, Fixed or Mutable patina. The Cardinal may act first, and ask questions, later. As such, he may hit first, and deal with the consequences, later.Let’s look at Mars square Moon, first. The Moon is one’s feminine side. It is one’s mother and one’s relationship with her. It is woman and one’s feeling about woman, in general. Yes, all this can be seen by aspects to the Moon. One of my favorite aspects is Moon trine Venus. This man likes woman. He can access the feminine parts of himself. It is a lucky lady who gets a Moon trine Venus man. Conversely, Mars square Moon has a different prognosis. Mars is the planet of war, aggression, assertion, drive and passion. The square is a thwarting of energy. The planets in a square are locked in a permanent tug of war. The lock is like two people holding the proverbial knot, in an actual tug of war. One may be the victor, for the moment. The next moment, it may be the other. However, as long as both HAVE the rope, they are locked in a permanent struggle. With any square, there is a sense of being locked between planets and houses. The opposition is a yin/yanging between two opposite sides, which is easier than the square which is like a permanent lock jaw. However, if one has a square, one must incorporate it, into oneself. That is the ultimate purpose of Astrology. Back to our example, if one has a man with Mars square Moon, in front of one, as an Astrologer, one must tell the woman that this man may have a deep seated anger toward woman and may act it out.
Another anger aspect is Mars square Pluto. I described what Mars was:drive, aggression and passion. Pluto is one’s primal passions. Pluto is the proverbial tidal wave. Pluto is the water held by the damn.One does not want the damn to break sending the water gushing. Pluto does not rule nuclear power for nothing. Pluto is a force to reckon with, inside oneself and between people, in synastry. I will discuss the hallmarks of an abusive relationship, based on synastry, later. Again, we have Mars, the planet of war squaring Pluto, the planet of nuclear power. The problem is in the square. The square is the tug of war.
Back to our general question “Is he abusive?” One would go to the 12th House, as the 12th House hides oneself FROM oneself. I have seen Nessus in the 12th House in an abusive man. Nessus is the Asteroid of abuse. With any trait, in any person, darkness intensifies it, the light allows healing. As such, one needs to take any 12th House Planet out from it’s isolation and seclusion. The best way to do this is to find a person to whom one can unburden oneself. We are only as sick as the secrets we keep. To go back to our question, if a man has 12th House planets and asteroids which could tend to abuse, the man must be willing to face and own these parts of himself. if not, he will act them out.
The Astrologer would need to see the synastry chart, the chart comparing the birth charts of each person. Abuse can happen when each person kindles the other. The Astrologer would look to Nessus and Dejanira, first.Nessus is the Asteroid of the Abuser. Dejanira is the Asteroid of the victim. As one knows, by seeing life situations, the Abuser finds the Victim and vice-versa. Why this happens is rooted in childhood. If the child is abused, he equates love with abuse. I addressed this in another article. However, if one has been abused, he will probably seek to repeat this pattern, subconsciously. The Astrologer can see this, as the Astrologer has the window in to a person’s subconscious. That is essentially what a person is seeking when he comes to an Astrologer. That is why it is such a Divine appointment with destiny for those who are fortunate enough to study Astrology and bring it’s wisdom to others.