This seems to be an omnipresent question. It may be said or left, unsaid. The song by Maria Mena, “Just Hold Me”, seems to haunt all of us, but the 12th House Planet natives know it, deeply. Others may feel raw and amorphous, but the 12th House person swims in it, struggling not to go under, to the bottom of the sea, as did Sedna. The 12th House experience is very different than any other. They are the demi aliens living among us. They are the poets and the artists. If they do not write and sing from their pain, they have special gifts with which to use their sensitivity. They can go into a hospice and hold the hand of a dying patient. They know the next dimension.If Mother Teresa was not a 12th House person, her work was.
To define the problem is fine, but that slithers around the answer. What is one to do? The first step seems to truly acknowledge your 12th House Planets:to study them in depth. Know who you are, as you cannot run. They are part of you. Only a Higher Authority knows why some charts are harder than others. That answer is unknowable.However, God has given us our personal maps:the astrological charts. Hence, for the 12th House person, he must understand who he is. He must try not to be ashamed of how he is different. He cannot bear an itchy sweater, while another sign could wear it all day. Hence, the first step is to stop trying to be like others: non 12th House people.
Then, one must find someone to whom one can tell the pain, as there will be valleys of sorrow. I don’t know how the sorrow came. It came differently for different people, but the 12th House person carries it. He may seem as if he does not. He may smile or swagger, but it is there. A sensitive person can pick it up. The 12th House person is holding a wound, just as real as a solider holding a war wound, trying to constrict it so as to stop the bleeding.The 12th House person feels set apart from others. The hardest part of all this is finding a person who can bear the pain with you, and not try to fix. You know all the fix’s. You have tried them all, to no avail. That is part of the omnipresent hopelessness which is part of the existence for a 12th House person.
The 12th House person tends to depression. Much of this is the internal isolation. Finding a person who will help you bear your sorrow will help. The hardest part for the other person is to resist the urge to fix, mitigate or make better in any way.It cannot be made better.It can only be released. That is the best way another person can help. They need to shut their mouths and let you cry. It sounds so easy, but few people can do it. You may be surprised, but it is true. Alice Miller brought the concept of the Enlightened Witness to the fore. Actually, if society was not so isolated, the EW may have been an aunt or a grandparent, in days past, when the family was closer. Now, intimacy is rare. Intimacy is one of the cures for 12th House planets. However, intimacy is a problem on it’s own, as the native has to be vulnerable. How can one be vulnerable when there is so much pain that the touch of another may be like fire? This is the conundrum.
God takes relationships very seriously, as He made Adam so He, Himself, would have a friend. As complete as God was, He wanted someone with whom to share. That is an amazing concept, but highlights the importance of relationships. As flawed as we are, there is nothing as special as someone seeing you. Intimacy is “In-To-Me-See”. How hard it is for us to, even, see ourselves, let alone show oneself to another. The 12th House person has more miles to go in the process of seeing himself, as it is harder for him. He wants to run away. He may get into addictions, as addictions are pain killers. The addictions may take him down. They may take him to the bottom of himself, or the bottom of life, itself, into death. The 12th House person cannot escape himself. Others have tried. I have more to say on this subject, but will take a break, as the last thing I want to do is give platitudes on a subject which has had platitudes thrown at it until it wants to vomit.
Incredible insight….!!!!
Aww Thank you, Maria. Astrology is always true. The only limitation is the skill of the Astrologer. The charts are mines of information. I see the Astrology bug has bitten you 😀
It amazed me how true this is. I have Saturn-Uranus conjunction in 12th house plus Pallas Athene conjunct only Saturn. Saturn is my ascendant ruler and Uranus conjuncts my ascendant from the 12th. Plus I got Neptune in first in conjunction with the Ascendant, and these three planets plus my Ascendant square my poor Pisces moon (ruler of 7th) which is in 3rd house. I may easily be a study case about 12th house planets even though I got only 2 in the 12th house, they affect me a lot. 🙂 This especially caught my eye : “The hardest part of all this is finding a person who can bear the pain with you, and not try to fix. You know all the fix’s. You have tried them all, to no avail.”
P.S. I like and I need solitude from time to time, it helps me to recharge my batteries. Positive thinking is the cure, no matter how hard it is, it can be done. But those isolation times cant be escaped, they are a part of me and I learned to enjoy them.
Wow, I admire how you are dealing with them, Mimi!