Anger and Healing From Emotional Problems

I got a flash of insight into emotional problems. One of my friends is on medication for bi-polar disorder. She does not want to be on the medication and was talking about this. It hit me that the medication pushed down anger. I don’t know how it hit me but these insights from out of the blue are always right, in my experience. This person had severe abuse, including sexual. Her mother blamed her for it. That betrayal is probably worse, even.

Suffice it to say that she had many reasons to be angry. Yet, she is not angry. Most abused people are not angry, but super sweet. It is the polar opposite of what they feel but they were not allowed to be angry. Life was too scary. If you were abused, your life consisted of trying to keep your abuser at bay. You did not have time to be childish.

It is funny because this person told me I was too sweet and it didn’t feel real. That was almost a year ago and I have tried to be more genuine.

I talked to her today and she said she was afraid of all the anger. She was afraid of what would happen if it came out. I can relate to the fear of anger. I pushed my anger, as well as all my passions, way, way down

When I started taking voice lessons, my teacher said he had never seen such an uptight person. It was the holding down of emotions, lest they come up, and undo me. I rolled into a small ball, like an insect, tight, compact and safe. The holding down of anger was combined with the holding down of pain and betrayal. I did not hold it down consciously. It was held down by my subconscious, lest it emerge and I run screaming down the street, naked and they come take me away. It is a primal survival mechanism.

Sexual abuse is the worst violation. Mine was not that bad, if you can say that. However, it makes you doubt your own claim to person hood, if I can say it that way. It takes out a central piece which remains missing. You are kind of a one armed gimp. It can be internal. Something shifts and you are not as human as you used to be.

I don’t think anything can restore you but a true relationship with God. All the therapy, group therapy, new age practices and age old practices like acupuncture and homeopathy can’t touch the spirit. It is a spiritual problem and needs a spiritual solution. You know I am writing from my own journey, as I always do.