Not everyone is abused. Not everyone has to overcome abuse. If you had severe abuse, you are different from other people. You have traveled roads that others have not, and do not understand. Hence, you are alone, in a sense. You are alone in your experience of life. People who have not been abused can try to understand. They may have the best intentions, but they will not understand, with their heart, as they cannot. However, it takes an abused person to overcome abuse, to lead the way for others. I seem to be in this category, although it is an ever increasing learning process.
There are several things one must do to overcome abuse. They may seem counter-intuitive. I don’t go along with current psych theory, as I am only interested in what works, not what makes one an educated patient. There is a big difference. If you don’t understand this, you have not been beaten to death with therapy. If you do, you have.
At any rate, back to the topic. To overcome abuse, one must get strong. One may think one has to get nice or liked. That is the opposite of what one must do. One must get strong. One must stand up and fight, when the opportunity presents itself( and it always will)
One must have situations in which one would lose approval and popularity but one still stands for what is in one’s heart. This will be scary and upsetting, but will build one’s muscle of personal integrity.
Secondly, one must have a relationship with God, as all this is too scary without God. One must have a relationship with the One who will never leave or forsake one. This relationship will be like a backbone for those who had no backbone from childhood.
Thirdly, one must accept evil within oneself and within others. Evil is a very scary thing for people who were abused, as they were exposed to it, too early and too soon. Hence, most shut down. Most became “too good” as the thought of evil was so noxious. This is the natural result of abuse. People who were not abused can accept evil, much more easily. This is because they did not have to push evil away when they were too young to face it. Hence, they grew into a natural relationship with evil, as it is a part of life.
This one step is crucial. One must make one’s peace with one’s own evil. One must incorporate it into oneself . One will be mentally ill if one casts off parts of oneself. This one fact may be what makes one mentally ill.
So, one must make peace with all parts of oneself, even the least acceptable ones.
Astrologically speaking, we all have a Nessus( the asteroid of abuse). We all have a Dejanira( the asteroid of the victim)
Hence, we all are alike in that we have a slice of all that others do. That is another factor in overcoming abuse. We must realize that we are all the same, as humans. If one feels something, others do, as well.
Normal is an acceptance of oneself, and all that one is. This may be the distinguishing factor with those who are normal and those who are emotionally troubled.
Often, there are simple roots to problems, but the “doing” is not very simple, at all. It is like climbing a huge mountain. You struggle to get to the top, with all your might, all your skills and all your soul. When you are there, you realize the truths you discovered by climbing. People may have told you these, before, but you couldn’t understand before your own climb.
Well-done, my friend!
Aww Thanks, El. I see that one must force expression because in forcing it, one sees that one was ALWAYS OK. <3
Another good piece :D. And this is true, for people who were not abused they cant really understand.
Thank you, Oliver.
What aspects do u cover ami when u say ‘abused’????? I mean sexual or physical abuse or just even being unhappy from ones life because people surrounding dont understand u thats like living with a lot of misunderstanding and being verbally and emotionally abused/ made funn etc i belong to the third category and want to know if dats the reason why people generally dont understand me, my feelings emotions etc simply because they never felt abused!?????
Ab
Is your question”What is abuse?” Yes, i refer to childhood abuse, not bullying. Bullying would be different, in the chart than childhood abuse. Bullying could be Chiron conj the ASC or the asteroid Dejanira, prominently.
I dont know whether it was only bullying but most propbably it was, so its ok then i am a severely bullied child!!!!! Nothings very good with me but its okk i am not the only one after alll…………
Chiron conj the ASC is severely bullied. Did you put your chart up, Ab? Do you have the correct time? Put in the asteroid Dejanira, too, as this shows bullying. <3
Besides my personal voyage towards healing I would like to share/stress that childhood abuse does not end in childhood-it merely changes names and protagonists but it lives on unless one finds the strength to
disown the “victim” mentality….My childhood abuse was like a tag on my forehead “use me” and we all know how people love to empty all of their garbage into a willing and most times begging garbage can! Abused children are suckers for Love–there is nothing they will not condone to or suffer through or do for that one single moment of feeling loved and accepted…I was exploited in more ways than one as an adult and have come to realize that SEX had become my only way of feeling a false sense of belonging/love/acceptance….I forgave myself for it and feel utter pitty for those who fed on my psyche just because I carried a wound that they sensed would satisfy their own perverted sense of superiority….There is a lot to say about victimhood and co responsibility in what happens to us.People do it TO US but we ALLOW it to happen. This is how I cope with the garbage of my life.It is not a suggestion-just one way of dealing with it. It doesn’t matter how one does it but plz people start CLEANING HOUSE <3
I have a very vivid picture of how I cleanse myself periodicaly although I am not certain its the best way to deal with it but its the only that works for me thus far
I understand everything you say, Maria dear. It would be interesting to look at the synastry between your mother and you.
Yes indeed!!!! I will post it in the personal readings under my own 🙂