People see the Narcissist as an annoying bag of wind, promoting himself until people want to throw a hammer at his head. People want to take him down a peg. It is a natural urge that rises up in people. The Narcissist is not what he appears to be. His outer mask is the opposite of his inner state. His inner state is very small. His outer mask is very big. It is like cotton candy–almost all air. If you ever got a huge cotton candy and saw it come down to two tablespoons of sugar, you know what I mean.
True self esteem is quiet. The Narcissist makes all sorts of noise. True self esteem feels safe to other people. The Narcissist seems like a threat. The Narcissist can be known by feel, more than by one’s intellect. If something feels bad, it probably is.
What is the remedy for Narcissism? It is to find true self esteem. I think the only real, true self esteem is found in God. I know people with good self esteem who do not have God. They had good things in this world. I know many of them. However, this world fails everyone. Everyone ages and everyone dies. Hence, even for people with the best self esteem, they will lose all, eventually.
If you have to deal with a Narcissist, there are a few things to remember. If he is a run of the mill Narcissist, then help him to feel better about himself by paying attention to him. Give him love, if you can. We all need it, especially the Narcissist. He may even feel so comfortable around you that he will let down his mask, a bit. However, if it is a Malignant Narcissist and he/she has you in his cross hairs, then you need to act proactively. If the person will not stop and desist, you need to take off her mask. You need to expose the true person for who she is. It is like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy pulls back the curtain. If you expose her, she will go away. It is like water to the Wicked Witch of the West.
We all have Narcissism. We need Narcissism. For the person who has none, he is not a person, at all, but an empty shell. For the person who has too much, he is a bag of wind.. Healthy Narcissism is the key. This is knowing who you are and who you are not. It is being honest with yourself–flaws and good points. It is humility, in a word.
Narcasists also know no boundries. They were probably allowed to get away with too
many things as children, because their parents were either too inattentive or to
disinterested in rearing their children. They leave the rearing of thier children to the
media, schools, or society. It doesn’t work because “society” is like a flawed printing
machine that churns out faulty copies. One generation misleads the following generation
with the same deceptions and wishful thinking THEY were raised with.
It’s been that way sine Adam and Eve!
Great comment, as usual, Lon!