These all relate. You may think they are unrelated. However, they are inextricably linked. The answers could save your life or your sanity or both. If one looks around, one sees the use of medical drugs for moods. One sees addictions, which are self prescribed drugs for moods. One sees a lot of pain.
The chart can show us where is the pain. This would be the house of Chiron, in part. Find Chiron’s House in your chart and you can go to the depth of your pain. This is an example of the chart being very powerful for insight. I can link some of my Chiron articles, so you can check out yours.
At any rate, once we find the House of our Chiron, we are left with the pain, still. People try to medicate pain for the simple reason that it hurts. One wants the pain to stop.What can we do?
I have tried most routes except the traditional medical. I knew this was not the path for me. None worked. I found God. Then, I had the Bible and the Holy Spirit to lead me. Things got better but I did not have the peace of mind I wanted. The old ideas I took on in the home of the Malignant Narcissist parent plagued me. I did not know what to do to break free.
It seemed that the answer was in my anger. The anger is not a cool, blue anger. It is a red hot anger that would burn like a fire. I pushed it down so much that all I had was depression and anxiety. I did not feel the anger any more. I covered this over with the shroud that I was “nice”. If it could have stayed down like a well trained dog, all would have been well and good, I suppose.
However, it wanted out like a voracious lion spying meat on the other side. There is a principle in human nature that the body and the mind try to heal. They do this by pushing out the poisons. Hence, if one wants to push them back in, one is in an eternal struggle.
How did I come to see that my rage was one of the roots of my emotional problems? It just came to me. Alice Miller talks about this and I read it in her books. However, it recently hit my heart. Ideas are of no help when they are stuck in the realm of the intellect. They have to hit the heart and the gut. Then, they can begin to heal the afflicted person.
I suspect there is more than just anger in this healing process. The rest of the answer is to face the truth of human nature, my own first,then, that of others. I seem not to be able to face it. I think when one grows up with so much denial, one is stuck in it such as a building stuck in a foundation for which it has existed for many years. I suspect that one cannot tear it down easily. It was erected to save the person’s life. That is the genesis of defense mechanisms.
Hence, I am at this fork in the road. I have come a ways, but have a ways to go. Please comment on my Comment Form, if you can relate.
What do you think this truth of human nature is, that you need to face? Or what is your sense of it?
And do you mean the difference between knowing it, vs. accepting it? -understanding it from a ‘gut’ sort of way?
I was made to go to a psychologist because I avoided social interaction. I was a teen
at the time, and there was a tremendous stigma attached to it. People who seek out “help”
are maligned as “damaged goods” weaklings. People don’t want such polluted creatures in
their “orbit” because they might be “catching.”
As is the case with many in my situation, I was the “identified” patient. The “identified”
patient isn’t the only sick one. He/she is just the person that the pathological dram focuses
on. The whole family dynamic is screwed. Families make accomodations through denial.
Everybody has to play their role to keep the charade going. If one should stop, the whole
house of cards comes tumbling down, like the walls of Jericho.
My theropist said my family was to blame for my condition. Don’t they all say that?
Anyway, provisions where made for me to leave my house. I couldn’t muster the
courage to do it. It wasn’t a physically abusive home. My primary source of distress was
my father, who would make life very unpleasent with his hectorings, threads, and
harrianges. My Moon in Cancer mother, (I have Moon in Cancer) as well, made it clear that
if I left my house she would leave my father.
It was too much for a 15 year old to take. My brother had just started college. I did not
want to be the cause of my family’s break-up even if it was a sham.
So, through a combination of being spoiled, and cowardace and denial I remained in that
disfunctional condition. Nothing changed. It was predicted that I would never leave that room!
The predictions were correct! My mom died in 2010 at the age of 80. I was 52. My 89 year old father is meserible and in agony. NONSTOP COMPLAINTS about bodily functions!
I am the owner of a sewage treatment plant that recieves INCOMING sewage but never
treats outgoing sewage. Please God please. You took my mother out in a releatively easy
way a couple of years ago… Take me out!
Aww Lon
I just saw this. It made me want to cry <3
I knew you’d pick a nice pic of mine for this kinda topic.
By the way, do look at this site. It has good prayers.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrPastor77?feature=watch
Mr Pastor is pretty good.
Welcome back, B!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX3RVJa85-0&list=PLD27144349AF00D52
You said you had demons. Listen to this powerful prayer by this prayerologist when you can. It’s very powerful and you can feel God’s spirit in
It is wonderful, B! I feel peaceful and good when I listen to it. I feel relief! Thank you.
you are welcome, A.
I am discovering audiobooks. Grimms fairytales read in audiobooks makes me happy. What about you, A?
WOW, I love fairy tales, B. What are some of your favorites?
I don’t know, A. I will let you know if I found something interesting. I think ice only heard of the classics and nothing beyond that. Do u hv any faves?
Yes, my total favorite fairy tale is the Little Match Girl, the original version. Should I get it and put it up on here. Sometimes, people mess with it and it loses it’s beauty.
You know who is magical, B? Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I used to have most of her things. One was about the Red Shoes. They danced by themselves. She is a powerful story teller. I know you would love her, B.
That is a very sad story, A. Very touching as well. Does it resonate to five pents in tarot?
I don’t know much about tarot, B.
Aw not true, A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhF61Aocjw&list=PLD27144349AF00D52
this too
Perfect love casts out ALL fear! I once had a taste of this “perfect love” The Bible
refers to it as “first love.” It’s the sense of enthusism and optamism that one feels when
they first come to Christ. The problem was, I was spritually immature. I still assumed
that there was a “proper” church to attend. I didn’t understand the esoteric aspects of
Christianity. I thought that one had to choose from the thousands of denominations and
find the right one to attend. I still thought that salvation was dependant on “works”
(The Ten Commandants) and church attendance. Coming from a Jewish backround and
having no experience whatever with “Christianity,” How would I choose the right church?
I listened to many Evangelical broadcasts. There were uber-liberals and far right
consevatives, and everything in between. My parents were no help because they would have
been morified if they knew I was contimplating becoming Christian.
I finally settled on the WorldWide Church of God. They sounded very athouritative and
knowlegeable. Many people fell for their spiel. It was a very insidious CULT. They taught
Old Covenant teachings and a give lips service to Christ. Most people-including myself-
know absolutely nothing about the Bible. A clever Satanic spokesperson can sell you
ANYTHING if you are ignorant about the Word.
That cult raked in millions a year, because they pursawaded members that if you gave
money to them you were giving it to God! Devilary! I spoke to the wife of the man that drove
me to the Saturday meetings. They had a couple of children. I asked, with the 30% tithing
policy, how she made ends meet? She had an outburst of emotion that surprised me.
She recounted ALL the troubles of how they got from week to week. There where little clues,
leakages that showed me that there was a lot of second guessing, lies and fraud.
But the real reason I fell away was I was uncomfortable with the socialization aspect.
I found it very difficult to be chummy with the congregants, and I had been attending the
meetings in secret because I was afraid my father would find out. In this case, my asocial
behavior was an aid, it kept me from getting to involved with the cult. I eventually dropped out
because my personal social “defects” kept me from commiting myself 100%.
It was good that I got out when I did. A large scandal broke out involving theft, deciet,
degeneracy and sexual exploitation of parishnors. These folks were far from converted.