Do I have the best titles or what? I don’t think I have ever brought up a topic to which someone cannot relate. I bring up things which trouble me. I bring up things which lay heavy on my heart. In doing so, I lay down a burden. Others seem to lay down a burden, too.
I wonder about this phenomenon. I wonder in what it has it’s roots. Everything has a root. We may not know the root but it is there.
What is the root to loving someone who treats you like dirt?
This article will be an amalgamation of charts, my own experiences, the experiences of friends and the experiences of clients. It may be kind of wooly but things are that way, sometimes, especially when they are matters of the heart.
Chart wise, it would be Nessus/Deja. Someone told me that Nessus was turned into fire, at some point in the myth. The myths have the main characters doing most everything, so I am sure it was true. I did not check it out but the tears one cries over a Nessus relationship feel like actual fire, so it seems to fit.
If one feels the yearning of Healthcliff running through the moors screaming the name of Kathy, it is a Nessus relationship. The Nessus relationship embodies what ET yearned for when he pointed his finger to the sky–HOME. The Nessus relationship promises home. Even if that promise is as flimsy as cotton candy. We want to shed our constraints and taste it, for once.
In doing so, we hope to shed our old live in the hope of a new ones. However, it it is a Nessus relationship. The shiny ball will turn dull, as dull as the darkest dirt, as dull as the darkest moment.
The Nessus relationship lives in the promise. In that promise, we can transcend. That is the root of the promise. We can have another chance as if we were born anew, but this is not baptism. It is the hope of it and that is quite different.
With this kind of hope, it is all you have and when it fades you are like the Little Match Girl, my favorite story. I can never tell it without crying. I will cry now, if I tell it again.
It is the story of being on the outside looking in. It is the story of yearning so much that you could die. It is the hope that all you yearn for could come true. It is the death of that hope. All this summarizes the Nessus relationship. I did not know it until I wrote it. Then, I knew it was true.
There’s a famous book that everyone should know about called “Influence” by Robert
Caldini. Why do people do the things they do? And how can you influence them?
Well, one trait people have is called “comittment and consistency.”
People are “creatures of habit” even when the habits are self harming and self destructive,
like unheathy relationships, for example. People make excuses for thier self-harming
decisions. It’s called “The devil you know vs. The devil you don’t know.”
So when someone is mislead into joining a cult, or is stuck in an abusive relationship, they
tend to remain there. Only when the pain becomes truly unbareable do they leave.
That is the relationship of my ex and it still feels like that! I think we have a strong nessus/deja connection.
Yep, Jenn
We each seem to have one to a lifetime. Some people may not even have one. Did you learn a lot from it? If so, what?
One of my past relationship, she had her Nessus sitting right on my MC. I am unsure what it could actually mean, but I had a hard time letting go, took 6+ years after the relationship ended for total clearing, despite the fact we were in touch one way or the other, I was treated lesser than the dirtiest dirt, though at her lowest points, she ran to me for all the help (more than 4-5 times), and once up, the pattern returned.
Lessons learnt, RIGHT!
YEP, her Nessus conj your MC would be very strong. Our angles are very personal, like our underwear, not to be gross, just to make the point that what touches our angles touches us deeply.
Most people “see” enough to get along in thier “routine” lives, but NOT enough to set
themselves free.
Ami, he was my longest my painful relationship I have experienced to date. I did learn a lot about myself, but it will take years of undoing the emotional confusion left from it.
I hear you, Jenn. One can look really deeply into oneself after this happens. I guess that is the silver lining. Do you agree?
Only THE TRUTH, and a willingness to see it, can set you free!
Very True, Lon!
Can you help me on this sinastry, i ned know if this relationship is destrutive, cause I feel completely absorbed and I’m afraid to be broken soo… 🙁
In the sinastry chart
His nessus and Dejanira are in the 11 house, but the effects on my houses are:
His Nessus (eleven house) in my IC
His dejanira in my 3th house
My nessus are in my 5th house, touching his ASC
My dejanira in my MC touching his 6th house
Aspects:
his dejanira sesquiquadrate my sun
his dejanira in opposition my venus
his dejanira opposition my uranus
his dejanira conjuction my kiron
His dejanira quincux my netun
His dejanira quincux my pluto
his nessus trine my sun
his nessus quincux my mars
my dejanira quincux his AC
my dejanira square his MC
There isn’t aspects of my nessus in his planets
Welcome. Put in the orbs, please, and I will take a look a bit later!
I’ve forgot some details, but I’m correcting them now:
sinastry chart:
His nessus and Dejanira are in the 11 house, but the effects on my houses are:
His Nessus (eleven house) in my IC
His dejanira in my 3th house
My nessus is in my 5th house, touching his ASC
My dejanira in my MC touching his 6th house
__________________________________________
His dejanira sequisquadrate MY SUN (- 0a)
his dejanira opposition to my venus (-2a)
his dejanira Bq my jupiter (0a)
his dejanira opposition my uranus (-4a)
his dejanira quincux my netun (0s)
his dejanira quincux my pluto (0a)
his dejanira conjuction my kiron (0s)
his nessus trine my sun (0s)
his nessus quincux my moon (0s)
his nessus Q-0a my mars
_________________________________________
my dejanira squares his uranus (-1a)
my dejanira squares his pluto (-1s)
my dejanira square his pluto (1s)
my dejanira square his kiron (3a)
my dejanira quincux his AC (-0s)
my dejanira square his MC (1s)
my nessus square his mars (2a)
my nessus conjuction his jupiter (4s)
my nessus trine his saturn (1s)
my nessus trine his netun (-4s)
my nessus trine his kiron (3a)
Plus, Also we live in this moment in different places, and I feel very deeply connected (Im scared) 🙁
me:
born on We., 30 September 1981 / Brasil, 42w00’29, 21s57’19 3:00 pm)
he:
born on Mo., 6 March 1967 / Netherlands, 4e29, 51n55 / 13:21 pm)
Love can make us blind, and I don’t want put more and more feelings and hope in a abusive relationship, even in love… 🙁
Awww <3
I just figure out that relationship is painful, what I could feel in my heart the last days, probably in the synastry chart there are more aspects telling me why didn’t worked out. 🙁
Post the charts on my Forum, if you want, Lu.